Thing, you're a handful.
-Morticia
Spirits above me, give me a sign. Should I be joyous, or shall I be damned?
-Gomez
Ah ha! SHOWTIME!
-Gomez
He looks so sweet. Looks just like a little entree.
-Morticia
I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.
-Wednesday
Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.
-Morticia
You were a terrible mother! There! I said it.
-Fester
What? Come on, Old Man, I've smoked since I was 5. Mother insisted.
-Gomez
I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.
-Gomez
Wednesday, play with your food!
-Morticia
We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you.
-Gomez
Mr. Addams, please stop calling! We do not know where they meet!
-Sally Jessy Raphael
Uncle Nick-Nack's winter wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack's summer wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack.
-Morticia
Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.
-Morticia
There it is. Just what we've been searching for. Thank you, Thing.
-Morticia
He wore that finger trap for two years. Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet. And the combination, and the password, and my cigar, and he slept so well!
-Gomez
"How do you take it off"? That's absurd! That finger trap was a party favor at his tenth birthday!
-Gomez
Smell that air, Fester! Like a tomb.
-Gomez
Morticia: Gomez.
Gomez: Querida?
Morticia: Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again!
-Morticia, Gomez
Gomez: How long has it been since we've waltzed?
Morticia: Oh, Gomez... hours.
-Gomez, Morticia
Gomez: To live without you, only that would be torture.
Morticia: A day alone, only that would be death.
-Gomez, Morticia
Uncle Fester: Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone?
Wednesday: He's only a child.
Uncle Fester: No excuse! Aim for a major artery. The jugular.
-Fester, Wednesday
Gomez: Unhappy darling?
Morticia: Oh, yes. Yes, completely.
-Gomez, Morticia
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