Airplane Movie Quotes

Airplane Movie Quotes

The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner.
-Rumack

I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too.
-Controller

He's all over the place! Nine hundred feet up to 1300 feet. What an asshole!
-Grunderson

Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.
-Jack

Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?
-Clarence

It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit.
-Ted

Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
-Rex

No, we can't do that, the risk of a flame-out is too great. Keep 'em at 24,000. No, feet.
-Rex

Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.
-Rex

No wonder you're upset. She's lovely. And a darling figure... supple, pouting breasts... firm thighs. It's a shame you two don't get along.
-Hanging Lady

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
-Steve

Airplane movie quotes
Funny Quotes           Movie Quotes

Randy: Excuse me sir, there has been a little problem in the cockpit...
Ted: The cockpit? What is it?
Randy: It's the little room in front of the plane where the pilot's in, but that's not important right now.
-Randy, Ted

Old woman: Nervous?
Ted: Yes.
Old woman: First time?
Ted: No, I´ve been nervous before.
-Old Woman, Ted

Dr. Rumack: You'd better tell the captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine: A hospital? What is it?
Dr. Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
-Dr. Rumack, Elaine

Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.
Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.
-Rumrack, Elaine

Ted: Because of my mistake, six men didn't return from that raid.
Elaine: Seven. Lieutenant Zip died this morning.
-Ted, Elaine

Ted: It's a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate his guts.
Elaine: It's a damn good thing you don't know how much he hates your guts.
-Ted, Elaine

Ted: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.
-Ted, Rumack

Controller: Bad news. The fog's getting thicker.
Johnny: And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.
-Controller, Johnny

Elaine: Would you like something to read?
Hanging Lady: Do you have anything light?
Elaine: How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?"
-Elaine, Hanging Lady

Follow Funny Quotes Today on Facebook and Twitter for the Quote of the day.