Clerks Movie Quotes

Clerks Movie Quotes

I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule.

Why don't you go join her, make a little bathroom bam bam?

I'll bet you 20 bucks you don't get to rent that tape.

You know there are a lot of women but not all of them cook you lasagna, most of them just cheat on you.
-Silent Bob

Olaf, Berserker, girls think sexy!

Cock smoker!

Pack o' wraps, my brotherman, time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed!

I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight.

Hey, what's up babes? What's up, sluts?

What do you mean no ice!! You expect me to drink this coffe hot!!

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

A little word of advice, my friend. Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go.

You ever notice how all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie.

Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!!! Hey you get back here!!

Hermphoditic porn Chicks with dicks that put mine to shame!

I'm offering you my body and you're offering me semantics?

Clerks movie

Customer: Hey nice cat. Whats its name?
Randal: Annoying Customer.
-Customer, Randal

Dante: Are there any balls down there?
Jay: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!
-Dante, Jay

Dante: how many? how many dicks have you sucked?
Veronica: something like 36?
Dante: 37, is that including me?
Veronica: ummm 37?
Dante: 37 my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.
-Dante & Veronica

Dante: You hate people!
Randal: But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?
-Dante, Randal

Dante: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after f*cking a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks.
Randal Graves: 37.
-Dante, Randal

Dante: I thought I told you not to be dealing in front of the store.
Jay: I ain't dealin', man, what you talkin' about?
Willam: Hey, man, you got anything?
Jay: Yeah, man, what you want?
-Dante, Jay, William

Randal: Some customer came in today refusing to pay late fees. Said the store was closed for 3 hours yesterday.
Dante: What did you do.
Randal: I tore up his membership.
Dante: Shocking abusing of authority.
-Randal, Dante

Randal: You know who I can do without? I can do without the people in the video store.
Dante: Which ones?
Randal: All of them.
-Randal, Dante

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