Clerks Movie Quotes

Clerks Movie Quotes

I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule.
-Randal

Why don't you go join her, make a little bathroom bam bam?
-Randal

I'll bet you 20 bucks you don't get to rent that tape.
-Randal

You know there are a lot of women but not all of them cook you lasagna, most of them just cheat on you.
-Silent Bob

Olaf, Berserker, girls think sexy!
-Jay

Cock smoker!
-Jay

Pack o' wraps, my brotherman, time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed!
-Jay

I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight.
-Jay

Hey, what's up babes? What's up, sluts?
-Jay

What do you mean no ice!! You expect me to drink this coffe hot!!
-customer

I'm not even supposed to be here today!
-Dante

A little word of advice, my friend. Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go.
-Dante

You ever notice how all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie.
-Dante

Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!!! Hey you get back here!!
-Dante

Hermphoditic porn Chicks with dicks that put mine to shame!
-Randal

I'm offering you my body and you're offering me semantics?
-Caitlin

Clerks movie

Customer: Hey nice cat. Whats its name?
Randal: Annoying Customer.
-Customer, Randal

Dante: Are there any balls down there?
Jay: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!
-Dante, Jay

Dante: how many? how many dicks have you sucked?
Veronica: something like 36?
Dante: 37, is that including me?
Veronica: ummm 37?
Dante: 37 my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.
-Dante & Veronica

Dante: You hate people!
Randal: But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?
-Dante, Randal

Dante: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after f*cking a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks.
Randal Graves: 37.
-Dante, Randal

Dante: I thought I told you not to be dealing in front of the store.
Jay: I ain't dealin', man, what you talkin' about?
Willam: Hey, man, you got anything?
Jay: Yeah, man, what you want?
-Dante, Jay, William

Randal: Some customer came in today refusing to pay late fees. Said the store was closed for 3 hours yesterday.
Dante: What did you do.
Randal: I tore up his membership.
Dante: Shocking abusing of authority.
-Randal, Dante

Randal: You know who I can do without? I can do without the people in the video store.
Dante: Which ones?
Randal: All of them.
-Randal, Dante

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