Dumb and Dumber Movie Quotes

Dumb and Dumber Movie Quotes

You cant triple stamp a double stamp!

Just when I think you couldn't do anything any dumber you go and do something like this.... AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!!!

According to the map we've only gone about four inches. You know, I don't think we have enough gas money.

First time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I got that romantic, old fashioned feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.

It's OK, I'm a limo driver.

Hey!, I guess they're right. Senior Citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.

They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know?

Harry: You sold my Dead Bird to a BLIND KID?!
Lloyd: Harry! I took care of it!

According to the map we've only gone 4 inches

Yeah, I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about not listening to her enough or somethin. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.

We've got no food. We've got no job, our pets HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

Man, you are one pathetic loser.

"We don't usually pick up hitchhikers... but I'm-a gonna go with my instincts on this one. Saddle up partner!"

why you going to the airport. flyin' somewhere

I desperatley want to make love to a school boy.

So he asks 'Do you love me?' and she says 'No, but that's a real nice ski mask.'
Lloyd (daydreaming)

We're in a hole, we're just gonna have to dig ourselves out.

They killed Petey
Harry Dunne

Mock, yeah. Ing, yeah. bird, yeah. yeah, yeah.
Loyd and Harry

Austria huh? Well g'day to ya mate, lets throw anotha shrimp on the ba-bie"

I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it comin'.

I'm talkin' about a little place called Assssssspen.

Hey. You wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world.....ERRRREHHHHHHHHHHHH (Harry joins in)

I got worms.

hey harry old buddy old pal!

Dumb and dumber movie
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guy in diner

Don't you go dying on me!

No way, thats great. (walks out bar into hotel) We landed on the moon!

Slippy, Slappy, Swammi.... (looks at case).... Samsonite, I was way off.

Harry: We successfully mated a bull dog and a shi tzu.
Mary: really??
Harry: Yeah we called it a bullshit!!!
-Harry and Mary Swanson

Harry: Those skis yours?
Girl: yeah
Harry: Both of them?
-Harry and Black girl

Mary: I hope you're not using the toilet it's broken.
Harry: Huh?
Mary: The toilet doesn't flush.
-Mary and Harry

"Are you aware its against the law to have a open alchol container here in the state of Pennsivina. C'mon give me that booze you little pumpkin pie haircutted freak C'mon!!!"
-Policeman who stops Harry & Lloyd for having open beer bottles in the van.

Harry: Nice set of hooters you got there.
Mary:(covering her breasts) I beg your pardon?
Harry: The Owls, there beautiful.

Cop: Pullover!
Harry: No its a cardigan but thanks for noticing.

Lloyd: " Excuse me, Flo? What's the soup du jour?"
Waitress: "It's the soup of the day."
Lloyd: "Mmmmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that."

Harry-I pictured the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd-Yeah, that John Denver was full of shit.

Harry: "Jeez look at the butt on that."
Lloyd: "Yeah. He must work out."

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