Eastbound and Down Season 2 Quotes

Eastbound and Down Season 2 Quotes

Once again I’m with the hottest chick in town, buyin’ the most expensive fashions, dinin’ in the fanciest food places, riding around on goddamn jet skis. Rainin’ trim. Hallucinogens. Jet skis again. Throwin’ heat. And getting laid.
-Kenny Powers

I got this comeback locked down tight, like a little girl's tuna.
-Kenny Powers

Next time you wanna bet on my cock, you better bring some fucking pesos. Got it ese???
-Kenny Powers

Does it make your life easier to just throw a quick, racist term at somebody? A man who has seen the things I've seen... experienced the loss and pain that I've experienced... I transcend race, hombre.
-Kenny Powers

I’m a ballplayer... and not just any ballplayer... I’m Kenny Fucking Powers.
-Kenny Powers

She can call me whatever the fuck she wants to — look at that brown caboose.
-Kenny Powers

And they will all know that Kenny Powers is in fact the Christ figure that they perceive me to be.
-Kenny Powers

Gross! You’re crop dusting my whole entire bedroom with your pubes right now.
-Kenny Powers

You can't be running around worried about every goddamn bridge you've burned. You'll never get across the river..
-Kenny Powers

She keeps me on time, and I keep her moist in her underpants.
-Kenny Powers

It looks like shit. What the hell is he doing, printing that from a JPG? Motherfucker needs to be using TIFF files, dude. My face looks all computery and damn pixelated.
-Kenny Powers

I am sorry that your brother is Najavo. I know that would be very upsetting. If I found out I had a half black brother, or a whole back brother, I would be very upset.
-Stevie Janoqski

And, you know, if you want to bang that weird woman one more time for the memories, I will allow it.
-Kenny Powers

Prancing? Roger, name one time when I’ve ever fucking pranced here, dude. Kenny Powers doesn’t prance.
-Kenny Powers

You wanna pull that Bruce Lee sh*t with me, I’ll steal that sword away from you like a goddamn child and fuck you with it.
-Kenny Powers

Eastbound and Down Season 2 Quotes
This is me every night, dude. Just staring at buttholes, and gettin' a buzz on.
-Kenny Powers

Remember, there is no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt. So don't be little jealous cunts, ok?
-Kenny Powers

Well it’s not in America. In America people fucking hate soccer, and honestly, that’s the way it should be.
-Kenny Powers

Down there I fought and f*cked my way to becoming the greatest gringo that country has ever seen.
-Kenny Powers

Stevie Janowski: Guess you’re gonna go f*ck April now, huh? Probably.
Kenny Powers: Probably? Definitely. Maybe we’ll start off slow with a welcome home blowjob or something, but we’ll see how it goes. Light some candles, heat up a fuckin’ Lean Cuisine, and go to town.
Stevie Janowski: Oooohhh, get sexy, huh?
-Stevie, Kenny

Stevie, please don’t make me put a damn time limit on all of this emotional discovery.
-Kenny Powers

If I had to choose, I mean historically, I’ve always considered myself to be a tit man.
-Kenny Powers

It was my fault, dude. I should have never trusted a man that size.
-Kenny Powers

Steve does not accept layaway. When you place a fucking bet with Steve, you fucking pay Steve when his fucking cock wins.
-Kenny Powers

If one of these pigs takes my fucking wife, I will kill them.
-Stevie Janowski

I’m wearing all black. Outlaws wear black. Fags and cocaine dealers wear white.
-Kenny Powers

I know these helmets make you look like a puss, but trust me, you don’t want to rely on these quacks down here in these hospitals to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
-Eduardo Sanchez

Come see Kenny fucking Powers tonight at Charros Stadium. He’s the Hombre Negro, not the White Flame. He’s not scary like the negros in America, unless you’re the competition. Then he’ll strike you out, and shit all over your face. Come worship the big dick American at Charros Stadium, and hopefully he’ll impregnate all the women here, so we’ll have a new generation of Kenny Powers’es.
-Stevie Janowski

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