Funny Age Quotes

Funny Age Quotes

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.

When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces. Women just go right on cooking.

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man.

Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms inside your head, and people in them, acting. People you know, yet can't quite name.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Men, like peaches and pears, grow sweet a little while before they begin to decay.

At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty the wit; at forty the judgment.

I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know?

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Death is nature’s way of saying, Your table’s ready.

Funny Age Quotes
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After a man passes sixty, his mischief is mainly in his head.

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

You know you're getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.

Youth is the time for adventures of the body, but age for the triumphs of the mind.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.

You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.

As you get older three things happen.  The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Middle Age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

The older you get the more important it is not to act your age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting out ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

You can't put off being young until you retire.

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

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