Funny Exercise Quotes

Funny Exercise Quotes

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

The only member of my family with a personal trainer is the dog.

A good goal is like a strenuous exercise – it makes you stretch

Fitness - if it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body.

The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck!
-Unknown

The best activities for your health are pumping and humping.
-Arnold Schwarzenegger

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs.
-Joan Welsh

The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down."
-Rita Rudner

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
-Marsha Doble

I really don't think I need buns of steel.  I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
-Ellen DeGeneres

If you’re asking your kids to exercise, then you better do it, too. Practice what you preach.
-Unkown

Exercise is done against one’s wishes and maintained only because the alternative is worse.
-Unkown

The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck.
-Unknown

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
-Phyllis Diller

Aerobics:  a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starches into aches, pains, and cramps.
-Unknown

Any workout which does not involve a certain minimum of danger or responsibility does not improve the body - it just wears it out.
-Norman Mailer

Exercise is a dirty word.  Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
-Unknown

An hour of basketball feels like 15 minutes.  An hour on a treadmill feels like a weekend in traffic school.
-David Walters

I consider exercise vulgar.  It makes people smell.
-Alec Yuill Thornton

People say that losing weight is no walk in the park.  When I hear that I think, yeah, that's the problem.
-Chris Adams

If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor.
-Unknown

I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.
-Neil Armstrong

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.
-Unknown

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
-Robert M. Hutchins

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I think that making love is the best form of exercise.
-Unknown

I KEEP TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT IT KEEPS FINDING ME.
-Unknown

THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT BEFORE BREAKFAST: (LUNCH AND DINNER).
-Unkown

A DIET IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO SOME LENGTH TO CHANGE YOUR WIDTH.
-Unknown

What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?
-Randy Glasbergen

HOLLYWOOD'S FAVORITE DIET: STARVATION.
-Unknown

Diet slogan: TAKE CHARGE, DON'T BE LARGE.
-Daniel Worona

BY THE TIME I'M THIN, FAT WILL BE IN.
-Unknown

SKINNY PEOPLE TICK ME OFF!!! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my car keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
-Unknown

COMPLAINING ABOUT DIETING AND EXERCISE BURNS OFF EXTRA CALORIES.
-Daniel Worona

I don't care about being big and strong, I just want to look good naked
-Unknown

Exercise... the poor person's plastic surgery
-Unknown

I Exercise - run my mouth,push my luck, & jump to conclusions
-Unknown

If it were easy then everyone will look like this
-Unknown

I'm bringing sexy back (in a couple of months)
-Unknown

I'm in no shape to exercise
-Unknown

God must love calories, because he made so many
-Unknown

I was going to wake up early and go jogging, but my toes voted against me 10 to 1.
-Randy Glasbergen

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
-Unknown

Of course I'm in shape . Isn't Round a Shape?
-Unknown

I'd hit the gym more if it had a smoking section
-Unknown

I would just exercise, but it makes me spill my drinks
-Unknown

Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.
-Edward Stanley

If you exercise your mind, you’re not going to get sick.
-Unknown

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
-Robert A. Heinlein

Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it.
-Plato

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
-David Lee Roth

Dieting is the only game where you win when you lose!
-Karl Lagerfeld

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