Funny Father's Day Quotes

Funny Father's Day Quotes

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, 'You're tearing up the grass.' 'We're not raising grass,' Dad would reply. 'We're raising boys'.
-Harmon Killebrew

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
-Bill Cosby

One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.
-George Herbert

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
-Barbara Kingsolver

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
-Charles Wadsworth

Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.
-Author Unknown

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.
-Sigmund Freud

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.
-Enid Bagnold

Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.
-William Wordsworth

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Honour thy father and thy mother' stands written among the three laws of most revered righteousness.
-Aeschylus

Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad.
-Anne Geddes

Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself,
-Tom Wolfe

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
-Clarence Budington Kelland

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
-Bill Cosby

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.
-Johann Schiller

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!
-Lydia M. Child

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-Red Buttons

Be kind to thy father, for when thou wert young, Who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, And joined in thy innocent glee.
-Margaret Courtney

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
-Clarence Budington Kelland

Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt.
-Clarence Budington Kelland

The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.
-Robert Frost

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
-Elizabeth Stone

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