Funny Graduation Quotes

Funny Graduation Quotes

My father, who was from a wealthy family and highly educated, a lawyer, Yale and Columbia, walked out with the benefit of a healthy push from my mother, a seventh grade graduate, who took a typing course and got a secretarial job as fast as she could.
-George Weinberg

My graduate studies were carried out at the California Institute of Technology.
-Kenneth G. Wilson

My main objective is to prepare candidates for professional baseball; however, the majority of our graduates will go home as much better qualified amateurs.
-Jim Evans

I graduated a the top of my class in the '84 Olympic Games; I won a gold medal.
-Scott Hamilton

I have actually five honorary degrees.
-Katherine Dunham

So in my uncertainty, I went to graduate school and there it all happened.
-Ted Nelson

Some go on to trade schools or get further training for jobs they are interested in. Some go into the arts, some are craftsmen, some take a little time out to travel, and some start their own businesses. But our graduates find and work at what they want to do.
-Daniel Greenberg

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.
-Robert M. Hutchins

The economy in the Valley will need to grow if students want to come back and work with their specialized degrees. We need to develop more to create more opportunities.
-Frank Murphy

The essays in The Great Taos Bank Robbery were my project to win a Master of Arts degree in English when I quit being a newspaper editor and went back to college.
-Tony Hillerman

The idea of winning a doctor's degree gradually assumed the aspect of a great moral struggle, and the moral fight possessed immense attraction for me.
-Elizabeth Blackwell

The knowledge of languages was very useful. I have a university degree in foreign languages and literature.
-Emma Bonino

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
-Henny Youngman

We don't stop going to school when we graduate.
-Carol Burnett

We had times in '66 and '67 when we would pick up a platoon of privates out of the receiving barracks the week before we even graduated the platoon that we were on!
-R. Lee Ermey

When I graduated from Santa Monica High in 1927, I was voted the girl most likely to succeed. I didn't realize it would take so long.
-Gloria Stuart

Yale places great stress on undergraduate and graduate teaching. I like teaching, and I do a lot of it.
-James Tobin

Yeah, I spent about 20 years in a dorm room. It took me a while to graduate.
-Douglas Wilson

You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world.
-Tom Brokaw

When I was a graduate student, the leading spirits at Harvard were interested in the history of ideas.
-M. H. Abrams

When I was going for my graduate degree, I decided I was going to make a feature film as my thesis. That's what I was famous for-that I had my thesis film be a feature film, which was 'You're a Big Boy Now.'
-Francis Ford Coppola

ACT and SAT each have their own parts of the country. The GRE has its lock on graduate admissions. And so, one could blame the companies, but really, economically, they have no incentive to change things very much because they're getting the business.
-Robert Sternberg

At the School of Visual Arts in New York, you can get your degree in Net art, which is really a fantastic way of thinking of theater in new ways.
-Laurie Anderson

Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.
-Marian Wright Edelman

Catholic school graduates exhibit a wide variety of qualities that will not only help them in their careers but also in their family and community lives.
-Joe Baca

College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
-Ruby Wax

Each year India and China produce four million graduates compared with just over 250,000 in Britain.
-Gordon Brown

Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me.
-Conan O'Brien

Even though I didn't get a business degree, I enjoyed learning about economics.
-Herb Ritts

Even though I disagree with many of the changes, when I see the privates graduate at the end of the day, when they walk off that drill field at the end of the ceremony, they are still fine privates; outstanding, well motivated privates.
-R. Lee Ermey

Everybody wants you to do good things, but in a small town you pretty much graduate and get married. Mostly you marry, have children and go to their football games.
-Faith Hill

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology.
-Clive James

For a man to attain to an eminent degree in learning costs him time, watching, hunger, nakedness, dizziness in the head, weakness in the stomach, and other inconveniences.
-Miguel de Cervantes

For students today, only 10 percent of children from working-class families graduate from college by the age of 24 as compared to 58 percent of upper-middle-class and wealthy families.
-Patrick J. Kennedy

God will not look you over for medals degrees or diplomas, but for scars.
-Elbert Hubbard

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I didn't get my degree at NYU; I got it later, they gave me an honourary one.
-Jim Jarmusch

I don't look to find an educated person in the ranks of university graduates, necessarily. Some of the most educated people I know have never been near a university.
-John Keegan

I dropped out of school for a semester, transferred to another college, switched to an art major, graduated, got married, and for a while worked as a graphic designer.
-James Green Somerville

I first became interested in women and religion when I was one of the few women doing graduate work in Religious Studies at Yale University in the late 1960's.
-Carol P. Christ

I got all my work done to graduate in two months and then they were like, I'm sorry, you have to take driver's ed. I just kind of went, Oh, forget it.
-Fiona Apple

I went to college at the University of Kansas, where I got a degree in political science.
-Sara Paretsky

I went to military college in Canada and graduated as an officer in the Navy but also as an engineer.
-Marc Garneau

I wrote a novel for my degree, and I'm very happy I didn't submit that to a publisher. I sympathize with my professors who had to read it.
-David Eddings

I'm not impressed by someone's degree... I'm impressed by them making movies.
-Richard King

If a student takes the whole series of my folklore courses including the graduate seminars, he or she should learn something about fieldwork, something about bibliography, something about how to carry out library research, and something about how to publish that research.
-Alan Dundes

In 1858 I received the degree of D. S. from the Lawrence Scientific School, and thereafter remained on the rolls of the university as a resident graduate.
-Simon Newcomb

In my second year in graduate school, I took a computer course and that was like lightening striking.
-Ted Nelson

In the summer we graduated we flipped out completely, drinking beer, cruising in our cars and beating up each other. It was a crazy summer. That's when I started to be interested in girls.
-Ed O'Neill

In this outward and physical ceremony we attest once again to the inner and spiritual strength of our Nation. As my high school teacher, Miss Julia Coleman, used to say: 'We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles.'
-Jimmy Carter

It is soooooo necessary to get the basic skills, because by the time you graduate, undergraduate or graduate, that field would have totally changed from your first day of school.
-Leigh Steinberg

It is virtually impossible to compete in today's global economy without a college degree.
-Bobby Scott

It makes little difference how many university courses or degrees a person may own. If he cannot use words to move an idea from one point to another, his education is incomplete.
-Norman Cousins

It might be said now that I have the best of both worlds. A Harvard education and a Yale degree.
-John F. Kennedy

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
-T. S. Eliot

Life is the most exciting opportunity we have. But we have one shot. You graduate from college once, and that's it. You're going out of that nest. And you have to find that courage that's deep, deep, deep in there. Every step of the way.
-Andrew Shue

My father was on the faculty in the Chemistry Department of Harvard University; my mother had one year of graduate work in physics before her marriage.
-Kenneth G. Wilson

I received my undergraduate degree in engineering in 1939 and a Master of Science degree in mathematical physics in 1941 at Steven Institute of Technology.
-Frederick Reines

I teach one semester a year, and this year I'm just teaching one course during that semester, a writing workshop for older students in their late 20s and early 30s, people in our graduate program who are already working on a manuscript and trying to bring it to completion.
-Tobias Wolff

I think I finally chose the graduate degree in engineering primarily because it only took one year and law school took three years, and I felt the pressure of being a little behind - although I was just 22.
-Daniel J. Evans

I think women as well as men are concerned about jobs and the economy and spending and, and other issues. They're concerned that when their kids graduate from college they have an economy and they have a future in this country and they, they have the same opportunity that we've had and our grandparents have had.
-Ken Buck

I think young writers should get other degrees first, social sciences, arts degrees or even business degrees. What you learn is research skills, a necessity because a lot of writing is about trying to find information.
-Irvine Welsh

Having a college degree gave me the opportunity to be... well-rounded. Also, the people I met at the university, most of them are still my colleagues now. People I've known for years are all in the industry together.
-Jon Secada

I always wanted to have my own album released before I graduated from high school.
-Christina Aguilera

I could be happy doing something like architecture. It would involve another couple of years of graduate school, but that's what I studied in college. That's what I always wanted to do.
-Parker Stevenson

I did get a degree in special education.
-Clay Aiken

I did graduate with a bachelor's degree in civil engineering in 1948.
-Daniel J. Evans

I have no problems with private schools. I graduated from one and so did my mother. Private schools are useful and we often use public funds to pay for their infrastructures and other common needs.
-Jim Clyburn

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
-Fred Allen

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
-Robert Orben

Really, the potential for, first of all, any college graduate today is enormously good. These are good times for anyone with a college degree today, particularly African Americans. With a college degree today, you really breach the unemployment rate.
-Alexis Herman

Remember, half the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their class.
-Al McGuire

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