Funny Love Quotes

Funny Love Quotes

A man is given the choice between loving women and understanding them.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

I did not just fall in love. I made a parachute jump.

Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.

A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.

People tell me there's plenty of fish in the sea. But who wants to date a fish?

Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.

Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not.

True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match.

Life is one fool thing after another where as love are two fool things after each other.

Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.

Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.


Funny Love                          Quotes on Love                   Famous Love Quotes

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.

Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex.

Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

I've learned that you know your husband still loves you when there are two brownies left and he takes the smaller one.

Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not impress the neighbors as being very much.

Earth's the right place for love. I don't know where it's likely to go better.

My love for you is like diahrea, I just can't hold it in.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

The reason that lovers never weary each other is because they are always talking about themselves.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

Love your neighbor as yourself; but don't take down the fence.

He broke my heart, so I broke his jaw.


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