Funny Money Quotes

Funny Money Quotes

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
-Arnold Schwarzenegger

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Money is not the only answer, but it makes a difference.

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.

Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.

The use of money is all the advantage there is in having it.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one class of citizens to give to another.

Money is like a sixth sense - and you can't make use of the other five without it.

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Time is money.

Of the billionaires I have known, money just brings out the basic traits in them. If they were jerks before they had money, they are simply jerks with a billion dollars.

Money has never made man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more of it one has the more one wants.

I used to have a drug problem, but now I have enough money.

Money is like an arm or leg - use it or lose it.

Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.

Rich people have small TVs and big libraries, and poor people have small libraries and big TVs.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.

Don't tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I'll tell you what they are.

Never spend your money before you have earned it.

Money often costs too much.

Money doesn't grow on trees.

Money won't make you happy... but everybody wants to find out for themselves.

When you get something for nothing, you just haven't been billed for it yet.

It costs money to stay healthy, but it's even more expensive to get sick.

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