Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.
-James Allen

Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.
-Karen Horney

You never realize what you have till its gone ..Toilet paper is a good example.

Life must be lived as play.

Life well spent is long.
-Leonardo da Vinci

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
-Mel Brooks

May you live all the days of your life.
-Jonathan Swift

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.
-Arthur Miller

My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
-Cary Grant

My life is every moment of my life. It is not a culmination of the past.
-Hugh Leonard

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
-Harvey Fierstein

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
-Brendan Gill

Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.

Only a few things are really important.
-Marie Dressler

Now that I look back, I realize that a life predicated on being obedient and taking orders is a very comfortable life indeed. Living in such a way reduces to a minimum one's need to think
-Adolf Eichmann

Life is a series of sales situations, and the answer is no if you don't ask.
-Patricia Fripp

Life is short and full of blisters
-African-American Proverb

People living deeply have no fear of death.
-Anais Nin

Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
-Scott Adams

There is a time of life somewhere between the sullen fugues of adolescence and the retrenchments of middle age when human nature becomes so absolutely absorbing one wants to be in the city constantly, even at the height of summer.
-Edward Hoagland

The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.
-Marcus Aurelius

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
-H. L. Mencken

Life has a practice of living you, if you don't live it.
-Philip Larkin

The fear of life is the favorite disease of the 20th century.
-William Lyon Phelps

The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
-William James

The main facts in human life are five: birth, food, sleep, love and death.
-E. M. Forster

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
-Henry David Thoreau

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.
-Charles Darwin

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any man who can write a page of living prose adds something to our life, and the man who can, as I can, is surely the last to resent someone who can do it even better. An artist cannot deny art, nor would he want to. A lover cannot deny love.
-Raymond Chandler

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
-Henry Ellis

Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it.
-Henry David Thoreau

I take care of my flowers and my cats. And enjoy food. And that's living.
-Ursula Andress

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
-Charles M. Schulz

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
-Robert Frost

It is not length of life, but depth of life.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's all about quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family.
-Philip Green

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-Josh Billings

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
-George Bernard Shaw

Funny Quotes About Life
More Quotes:    Facebook Status         Quotes and Sayings         About Men

Life has meaning only if one barters it day by day for something other than itself.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
-Sholom Aleichem

Life is a long lesson in humility.
-James M. Barrie

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
-Truman Capote

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
-William Wallace

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
-Jean-Paul Sartre

Everything in life is luck.
-Donald Trump

Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.
-Karen Horney

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.
-Richard Bach

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
-E. B. White

I do not regret one moment of my life.
-Lillie Langtry

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
-Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I love life because what more is there.
-Anthony Hopkins

The universe is asymmetric and I am persuaded that life, as it is known to us, is a direct result of the asymmetry of the universe or of its indirect consequences. The universe is asymmetric.
-Louis Pasteur

That may or may not reflect what might happen in a real-life system, where you or I might get low doses [that accumulate] over months, years or decades. Time won't allow us to do those studies, of course.
-Kendall Wallace

The quality of life for our citizens and the quality of life for our businesses is entwined.
-Rick Kidder

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
-Erma Bombeck

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
-Mark Twain

While there's life, there's hope.
-Marcus Tullius Cicero

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
-Erich Fromm

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
-Albert Camus

Your life is what your thoughts make it.
-Marcus Aurelius

I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that.
-Lauren Bacall

The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
-Robert Byrne

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
-Carl Jung

There is no wealth but life.
-John Ruskin

For the life of me, I don't know how they missed the two palm trees and went through my fence.
-Scott Beattie

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
-Anton Chekhov

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
-William James

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
-Mark Twain

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.
-Robert Louis Stevenson

This life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it.
-William James

To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.
-Henry David Thoreau

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
-Emily Dickinson

Unbeing dead isn't being alive.
-e. e. cummings

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life.
-Karl A. Menninger

Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself.
-George Bernard Shaw

Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run. The daily work - that goes on, it adds up.
-Barbara Kingsolver

We can't plan life. All we can do is be available for it.
-Lauryn Hill

Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules.
-Ashleigh Brilliant

It's faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth living.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Follow Funny Quotes Today on Facebook and Twitter for the Quote of the day.