Funny Retirement Quotes

Funny Retirement Quotes

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. 

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. 

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. 

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas.  The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. 

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money. 

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. 
-Hartman Jule

Funny Retirement Quotes
 Chuck Norris Jokes                    One Liners

I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement.  They're called naps. 

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous.  When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. 

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. 

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. 

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work.  So I do it three or four times a day. 

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. 

When you retire, you switch bosses, from the one who hired you to the one who married you. 

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. 

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. 


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