Funny Smoking Quotes

Funny Smoking Quotes

Weed is bad for you... So we should burn it.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Saying sulfates do not cause acid rain is the same as saying that smoking does not cause lung cancer.

If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.
-George Burns

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
-George Burns

A cigarette is the only consumer product which when used as directed kills its consumer.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

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Coffee and smoking are the last great addictions.

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

Listening to a news broadcast is like smoking a cigarette and crushing the butt in the ashtray.

I'll tell you why I like the cigarette business. It cost a penny to make. Sell it for a dollar. It's addictive. And there's a fantastic brand loyalty.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend.

Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

The cigarette is a portable therapist.

One cigarette per day keeps the doctor with pay.

Don't drink and drive, just smoke and fly!

It’s been proven that all people that smoke die... It’s also been proven that all people that don’t smoke... also die.

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