Funny Sports Quotes

Funny Sports Quotes

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
-Yogi Berra

Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.
-Yogi Berra

Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play.
-Mike Singletary

A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.
-Wayne Gretzky

Approach the game with no preset agendas and you'll probably come away surprised at your overall efforts.
-Phil Jackson

Hitting is timing. Pitching is upsetting timing.
-Warren Spahn

As athletes, we're used to reacting quickly. Here, it's 'come, stop, come, stop.' There's a lot of downtime. That's the toughest part of the day.
-Michael Jordan

Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.
-Ted Williams

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
-Jim Bouton

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.
-Bill Veeck

Champions keep playing until they get it right.
-Billie Jean King

 Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
-Grantland Rice

 Fans don't boo nobodies.
-Reggie Jackson

 Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.
-Roger Kahn

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
-Jack Benny

Gold medals aren't really made of gold. They're made of sweat, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called guts.
-Dan Gable

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
-Paul Harvey

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-Mark Twain

Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best.
-Tim Duncan

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
-Tiger Woods

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures.
-Earl Warren

 I am building a fire, and everyday I train, I add more fuel. At just the right moment, I light the match.
-Mia Hamm

I don't know why people question the academic training of an athlete. Fifty percent of the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their classes.
-Al McGuire

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
-Rogers Hornsby

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
-Gerald R. Ford

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
-Joe E. Lewis

I see great things in baseball. It's our game - the American game.
-Walt Whitman

I want to rip out his heart and feed it to Lennox Lewis. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.
-Mike Tyson

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
-Rodney Dangerfield

I won't predict anything historic. But nothing is impossible.
-Michael Phelps

I'll let the racket do the talking.
-John McEnroe

I'm not buddy-buddy with the players. If they need a buddy, let them buy a dog.
-Whitey Herzog

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.
-Shaquille O'Neal

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
-Michael Jordan

If you got the game, you got the game. That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.
-Shaquille O'Neal

Famous Sports Quotes         Golf Quotes       Baseball Quotes

If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball.
-Phil Jackson

 If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
-Jack Lemmon

It's a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square.
-Pete Rose

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
-Muhammad Ali

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
-Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second.
-William James

My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.
-Hank Aaron

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
-Jimmy Connors

Nobody roots for Goliath.
-Wilt Chamberlain

Nobody's a natural. You work hard to get good and then work to get better. It's hard to stay on top.
-Paul Coffey

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.
-Rogers Hornsby

Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.
-Frank Gifford

Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting.
-George Orwell

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
-Dave Barry

Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
-Barry Switzer

Sports do not build character. They reveal it.
-Heywood Broun

Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.
-Roger Kahn

The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey. The old ballplayer cared about the name on the front. The new ballplayer cares about the name on the back.
-Steve Garvey

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
-George Deukmejian

  The only way to prove that you're a good sport is to lose.
-Ernie Banks

The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood why fans are so obsessed with them.
-Hank Aaron

The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen.
-Bob Lemon

Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.
-Joe Adcock

What's unfortunate about buying a pitcher for $12 million is that he carries no warranty.
-Bob Verdi

Wrestling is ballet with violence.
-Jesse Ventura

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
-Lee Trevino

You don't play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball.
-Bobby Knight

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.
-Charles Barkley

You win some, lose some, and wreck some.
-Dale Earnhardt

"If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why practice?"
-Derek P.

At one point in your life you either have the thing you want or the reasons why you don't
-Andy Roddick

Somewhere behind the athlete you've become and the hours of practice and the coaches who have pushed you is a little girl who fell in love with the game and never looked back... play for her.
-Mia Hamm

Winners don't wait for chances, they take them
-Unkown

Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else.
-Vince Lombardi

Pain is only temporary but victory is forever.
-Jeremy H.

Love is playing every game as if it's your last.
-Michael Jordan

Don't practice until you get it right. Practice until you can't get it wrong.
-Unknown

When you put on that jersey, the name on the front is more important then the name on the back.
-Miracle

We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
-Jason Kidd

 If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
-Joey Adams

Most people play a fair game of golf, If you watch them.
-Joey Adams

Fishing seems to be the favorite form of loafing.
-Edgar Watson Howe

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