Redneck Jokes

Redneck Jokes
You Might Be A Redneck If...

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

Your child's first words were "Attention K-Mart shoppers!"

When you was little, your front yard got toilet papered and your momma thought it was a gift from God.

You have more belt-buckles than pants.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.

Your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.

Your dog can't watch you eat without getting sick.

You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

You've painted a car with house paint.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

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You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.

You stare at an orange juice container because it says, "CONCENTRATE".

You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

You couldn't learn to swim because your gene pool is too small.

You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

You hide yer kids'Easter eggs under cow pies.

Your High School Prom had a Daycare.

You and your dog use the same tree.

You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took

Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.

You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company

You have a close relative named "Cletus".

Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

You've got more than three cousins named 'Bubba'

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