Seasons 1 & 2 Below Season 3 Quotes
That's real loose butthole.
Let's get weeeeird.
The nipple of your dreams is actually my nipple of your nightmares.
-Adam DeMamp (to Anders)
Just gettin swole with it BROOTHA.
See Marky Mark's look, very tight butthole, but your look is the loosest butthole I've ever seen.
Have you seen these lips? Have you enjoyed the presence of me eating a kielbasa? It's redonk.
How are we gonna find clean piss when everyone over the age of 12 smokes weed these days?
Alice, feel better, and take it sleezy. That's a thing I'm saying now.
(shoots tire out in slow motion)
It is that big, deal with it, I've got an Ed Helms.
Rock a jock 10 point shot. Ahhhh, sorry about that, Dan Cortese woulda made that.
Kelsey Neederdepi dude, third love of my life.
I'm sick of beautiful people who don't have to work for their beauty, when I'm over here sweatin my balls off for all this beauty.
GET AT ME!
Does she have the build to birth me my olympic triathlete son? No, not with those giant cans and tapered waste. I'm sorry it's just not gonna happen.
Is someone there? Listen I'm armed and I've got aids.
-Anders Holmvik (can't see because of his onesie)
Ohhh she just made her butthole blink.
(walks into the library)
DANG, What's up with all these books?
Hey dick, how often are you jacking off on my laptop?
-Anders to Adam
Guess who I voted for in 2000, Bush. My favorite band, Pubic Enemy.
I need a hot as baaaallls male model.
Yea look, I'm gonna have to let you go, someone just dropped three turds off in my office.
-Alice on the phone
(Adam and Anders about to fight)
Ok hold the phone, you are fully torqued bro.
What are you doing Adam, Do you even know how many people go blind from pizza shrapnel?
-Blake Henderson (confuses piece of shrapnel with pizza shrapnel)
Who is ready for the night at the museum of tollerence of alcohol?
Oh ok, here's the bigger problem, underneath your keyboard here you've got quite a lot of dry semen.
Sorry guys, bros before hoes, but you know, lil bros before big bros.
AY YO MAGGOTS!!
-Adam, Blake, Anders (Think that is the password to get their passport)
Blake: Totally sober for a week, whata you guys say?
Adam: This is me sayings yes. (Makes a bitter beer face)
Adam: Guys, I can't go to Hedonism, I'm not gonna have a good time, I won't get laid.
Anders: What why?
Adam: BECAUSE MY DICK FELL OFF!! (Shows his mangina)
Blake: What's the absolute least amount of money you could get paid to blow a guy?
Adam: If I'm honest with myself, I'd have to say 900 dollars.
Blake: Oh no, I'm not wearing underwear, what happens when I prejaculate.
Anders: No one is going to pre ok?
Blake: I always do.
Anders: What is that, it's not beer?
Adam: No it's whiskey. I watered it down though.......with beer.
Anders: We drank like a weird amount, but it'd be weirder to stop.
Adam: Yea that'd be weird.
Blake: Strait edge people are weird.
-Anders, Adam, Blake
Anders: It isn't genuis, you don't have any formal education.
Karl: At least I'm wearing camel flage.
Anders: Camel Flage??
Adam: Take a walk Ders, I don't wanna have to kick your ass.
Anders: Ok Adam, this is so dumb, I'd like to get to this photo shoot on time, try being a pacifist.
Adam: Oh I'll be a pacifist, I'll pass my fist through your face.
Anders: Hey can we get a picture together?
Topher: Yea, if you don't mind if I take a piss off your roof first.
Adam: I would mind if you didn't take a piss off our roof.
-Anders, Topher, Adam
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