Not so slim shady, what's up dude?
-Jenko
You have the right to remain silent, MOTHER FUCKER! -Jenko
FUCK YOU SCIENCE!-Jenko
Fuck you, Glee!
-Jenko
Doves make you look bad-ass!-Jenko
Will you go to prom with me?
-Schmidt (to Jenko)
When did I get stabbed?! That's awesome!-Schmidt
You have exceptional muscle tone there young man, when did you go through puberty, like seven or something?
-Mr. Walters
Put your tongue back in your mouth.-Mr. Walters
Let me check out your chest, check out your test.
-Ms. Griggs
You're here because your some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus looking mother fuckers.
-Captain Dickson
Are you two throwing a party, there's rumors in the Twittersphere?
-Captain Dickson
Can you two stop fucking with the Korean Jesus!
-Captain Dickson
Domingo: You guys even real cops, you look like kids on Halloween?
Jenko: HEY, do you want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
Schmidt: I think what he meant was he is going to punch you so many times around the genital area your dicks just gonna fall off.
-Domingo, Jenko, Schmidt
Jenko: Where do we report to?
Chief Hardy: Down on jump street, 21 jump street.
-Jenko, Chief
(Jenko hits Schmidt with a car)
Jenko: You ok?
Schmidt: Think I crapped my pants.
-Schmidt, Jenko
Jenko: Your really good at this?
Schmidt: Yea
Jenko: Hey you wanna be friends?
Schmidt: Yea dude.
-Schmidt, Jenko
Chief Hardy: Do you even know the Miranda rights?
Jenko: Look it obviously starts with you have the right to remain an attorney.
Chief Hardy: Did you say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to.
-Chief, Jenko, Schmidt
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