Big Bang Theory Quotes
Oh, here's a fun fact! Ketchup started out as a general term for sauce, typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices. Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry, anchovy, oyster, kidney bean, and grape.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies "for you, no charge
Sheldon: They also took Glen.
Leonard: No, not Glen.
Sheldon: Yes, the only bird that I ever loved.
The entire institution of gift giving makes no sense. Let's say that I go out and I spend 50 dollars on you. It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need whereas you know what you need. Now I could simplify things, just give you the 50 dollars directly and then you could give me 50 dollars on my birthday and so on; until one of us dies leaving the other one old and 50 dollar richer and I ask you is, it worth it?
Leonard: What do you want?
Sheldon: You may wanna sit down.
Leonard: I'm in bed!
Sheldon: Point taken. You may wanna sit up.
How wonderful, dinner with some assembly required.
Could we focus on what's important here? I lost a bet to Wolowitz!
Sheldon: What are you doing here?
Leonard: I live here.
Sheldon: I have paperwork that says differently.
I have a Masters degree and two Doctorates. The things I *should* know, I do know.
Leonard: Most people don't sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fiber content.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but I think we've both found that helpful at times.
Okay, then, riddle me this: Assuming all the good Terminators were originally evil Terminators created by Skynet but then reprogrammed by John Connor, why would Skynet, an artificial computer intelligence, bother to create a petite, hot, 17-year old killer robot?
It's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated.
There's always a chance that alcohol and poor judgment on her part may lead to a wonderful evening.
Amy Farrah Fowler, that's the most pragmatic thing anyone has ever said to me!
I am the master of my own bladder.
What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?
Penny: Sheldon, could I ask you a question?
Sheldon: I would prefer that you not, but I wouldn't go so far as to forbid it.
Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless b*tch.
Good morning everyone and welcome to "Science and Society". I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS, MA, PhD and ScD. OMG, right?
Penny: So, how've you been?
Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period.
Leonard: You are not Isaac Newton.
Sheldon: No, no, that's true. Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple.
I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.
Good Lord how you frustrate me Leonard Hofstadter!
Wolowitz: You said you were going for a walk.
Sheldon: I didn't say outside.
Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Leonard: There you go.
Leonard: Have you considered telling her how you feel?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie!
Penny: Sheldon have you changed your wireless password?
Sheldon: It's "Penny get own WiFi"; no spaces.
Stephanie: Where did you get the stethoscope and the blood pressure cuff?
Sheldon: My aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday. She thought if I failed at theoretical physics that I should have a trade to fall back on.
Penny: I give up. He's impossible!
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.
Sheldon: Oh, Penny! Penny!
Penny: What's up?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking.
According to the Roommate Agreement, Paragraph 9, Subsection B: The right to bathroom privacy is suspended in the event of force majeure, and believe me, I am experiencing a very majeure force!
Penny: What do you mean 'new roommate'? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: Same thing that happened to 'Homo Erectus'. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town...
-Penny, Sheldon, Raj
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
Score 1 for liquor and poor judgement.
Penny: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
(Sheldon trying to figure out the card-trick)
Penny: No big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun!
Sheldon: (Imitating Penny) 'Not knowing is part of the fun.' Was that the motto of your community college?
Not only that Sheldon saved my life, but that he didn't report me to the landlord, or the police, or homeland security!
Penny: No, I can't. Sheldon, honey, I don't want things to be weird between us.
Sheldon: Won't it also be 'weird' if I have to say hello to you every morning on my way to work and you're living in a refrigerator box and washing your hair with rainwater?
Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.
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