Forgetting Sarah Marshall Quotes

Forgetting Sarah Marshall Quotes

Oh ok, I'll just go fuck myself then.

Off to find the mythical clitoris!

How you served five years under her, I don't know. You deserve a medal, or a holiday or at least a cuddle from somebody.
-Aldous Snow

Look at my limo driver. I'm going to have sex with her. Alright!
-Aldous Snow

I mean, I've heard that women do fake orgasms, but I've never seen it... It really, deeply upset me.
-Aldous Snow

When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail.
-Surfing Instructor

Come on out. Oh, the weather outside is weather...
-Surfing Instructor

I like her red hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.
-Surfing Instructor

Seemingly, the only actresses that can survive are the ones that show their cooter and I refuse to that. Excuse me, but I have a little dignity.

I took love seminars, sex seminars, so don't you dare sit here and tell me I didn't try because I tried really hard, you were just too stupid to notice.

It got really hard taking care of you when you stopped taking care of yourself, I tried everything to get you off your little island, the couch.

Its not all about you, you know. People come here not just to follow you.
-Peter Bretter

You're like one of those women from Flavor of Love. 'I'm gonna kill you.'
-Peter Bretter

Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it's the worst thing I could do.
-Peter Bretter

Everybody hates you. Everybody wishes that you were dead. Peter you suck. Peter you suck. Peter your music is fucking terrible. Peter you suck, Peter you suck. You don't do anything of value. Peter you suck. Go write some music. But instead you sit and write these bullshit songs. It's so self-loathing. Go see a psychiatrist. I hate the psychiatrist. Go see one anyway.
-Peter Bretter

Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

Sarah Marshall: I hate your music.
Aldous Snow: Yeah well, I fucked the housekeeper the other day.
-Sarah, Aldous

Peter Bretter: Hi, can I have another Bloody Mary, please?
Bartender: You're still working on that one.
Peter Bretter: It's an anticipatory order.
-Peter, Bartender

Surfing Instructor: If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you?
Peter Bretter: Yeah, probably.
-Instructor, Peter

Surfing Instructor: I once saw him beat a guy up with a starfish!
Peter Bretter: That's ridiculous.
Surfing Instructor: That guy was me.
-Instructor, Peter

Matthew: I have a question for you real quick. What did you think of my demo? Did you get it?
Aldous Snow: I was gonna listen to that, but then, um, I just carried on living my life.
-Mathew, Aldous

Sarah Marshall: I need you to get hard, Pete.
Peter Bretter: I know what I'm supposed to do.
-Sarah, Peter

Brian: You don't need to put your P in a V right now.
Peter Bretter: No, I need to B my L on someone's T's.
-Brian, Peter

Sarah Marshall: Do you want to put some clothes on!
Peter Bretter: Oh, would you like to pick out the outfit that you break up with me in!
-Sarah, Peter

Peter Bretter: How are things going with the lady?
Darald: Not awesome. She's complicated, like the Da Vinci Code, except harder to crack.
-Peter, Darald

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