Phillip Banks: What are you talking about? I weigh the same as I did in high school.
Will: Yeah, if you add up all four years.
I've always wondered... since coffee is made from beans, does that make it a vegetable?
Jean Claude Van Dam I'm fine!
For a long time it gave me nightmares, witnessing an injustice like that... It's a constant reminder of just how unfair this world can be... I can still hear them taunting him... "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!"... I mean, WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST GIVE HIM SOME CEREAL?
[after Vivian asks Will to be her partner at Soul Train]
Will: I'd like to Aunt Viv, really. But it's hard to get my groove on with an old woman.
Will: Oh, you don't know "kid talk". You know, "bad" is good, "stupid" is wonderful, and "old" is uh... beautiful. You *so* old Aunt Viv. You're the *oldest* woman I've even seen.
Jazz: Making a baby truly is a blessed event.
Will: Don't you mean "Having a baby"?
Jazz: Trust me on this.
Carlton: Will, you must change!
Will: Carlton, you must grow!
[singing] I'm stuck in a basement, sittin' on a tricycle, girl gettin' on my nerves; Goin' outta my mind, I thought she was fine, don't know if her body is hers.
Will: Carlton, you'll never guess what happened!
Carlton: well there's no since in me playing is there!
Vivian, you are so naive. You would believe Will if he told you that he were some big rap star, whose album just went platinum.
Congratulate me. It took all day, but I finally found the perfect pair of alligator pumps to wear to the Save the Everglades dinner tonight.
Between you and the humpty dance, I'll have to get a metal plate on my butt.
Well, someone has her rude hat on tonight.
[singing while playing harmonica] My butler is black/My butler is blue/His honey has green/Comin' out her wazoo.
Phillip Banks: I smell cheap cologne and fried chicken.
Jazz: I resent that.
I'm gonna pop that little zit when I get home.
Phillip Banks: Penn State would've been my first choice if my applications to Princeton, Yale, and Talledega Tech had fallen through.
Dr. Hoover: You must have been an athlete in your thinner days.
-Phillip, Dr. Hoover
Jameson: [Jameson is superstisious and thinks Will is a good luck charm. His horoscope says to stay away from leos] My lucky numbers have always been 3 and 7. Will, when is your birthday?
Will: July 3rd.
Jameson: What year?
Jameson: So you were born on 7-3-73? My lucky numbers!
Phillip Banks: Jameson, its just a coincidence.
Jameson: Coincidence? I don't think so.
-Jameson, Will, Phillip
Yeah, my first time was with a girl from the projects. Best 50 bucks I ever spent...
Carlton, I think you've been deprived of oxygen at birth.
Am I alone in this, or did y'all know he was white? I mean - tall.
|The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes|
Carlton: You're the man, Will. You're the man. I'm just the man behind the man.
Will: Uh, what're you doin' back there?
[to Phillip] Hey, hey, hey man. Man, have I told you how thin you're lookin' lately?
[explaining a shrunken shirt] The directions on the shirt said "Hand Wash". So that's exactly what I did. Before I put the clothes in the washer, I washed my hands.
Ashley: If Jazz and Jewel want to bring a child into this world, who are we to judge? We're no perfect.
Hilary: [snorts] Hello?
What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?
[Scott is interested in Hilary]
Scott: Is she involved with anyone?
Will: Mostly herself.
Carlton, you are grounded for a month. Will, added to the month that you already have, it should take you into Fiscal '91.
Maybe I sometimes say things that are selfish and self-centered, but that's who I am, dammit.
I can wash the dishes... My butler can be here in fifteen minutes.
Phillip Banks: Will, going to college isn't just about finding a job. It's about finding yourself, and finding what you do best that makes a contribution to the community. It shouldn't be just about money.
Will: You really believe that, Uncle Phil?
Phillip Banks: Yes, son, I really do.
Will: Then how do you explain becoming a lawyer?
Carlton: I'm sick of being such a big loser.
Will: [faking sympathy] Aw, C - you're not big.
Girl: Excuse me, what's a nine-letter word for "Terrific?"
Will: That's easy: "Will Smith."
No, Carlton, if I had your friends, and if I woke up one day and found that I had a little horse on a polo shirt, I'd jump off the Empire State Building in attempt to catch a nail in my eye!
[Addressing the man in a "Dungy the Whale" costume] Now lookie here, you big, orange, Moby *Dick*.
Man, I love Halloween! It's the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested!
I found that any game can be made interesting if you put some money on it.
Hilary: Geoffrey, what do you know about wine?
Geoffrey: I know no-one does it better than you, Miss Hilary.
All right, Will... If that's the way you want it... Mm ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hit the road, you little tramp!
[singing] Now this is a story all about how my life got twisted upside down, and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the Prince of a town called Bel-Air...
Will: I could kill that boy!
Geoffrey: If you're serious, I could make some calls.
I'm innocent Will, and this is Uncle Phil, attorney at law... and this is Little Carlton. He's trying to find his way back to the circus.
[is stuck in an elevator with Jazz and Carlton] Great, now I'm stuck with Ren and Stumpy!
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