The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes

Phillip Banks: What are you talking about? I weigh the same as I did in high school.
Will: Yeah, if you add up all four years.
-Phillip, WIll

I've always wondered... since coffee is made from beans, does that make it a vegetable?
-Hilary

Jean Claude Van Dam I'm fine!
-Will

For a long time it gave me nightmares, witnessing an injustice like that... It's a constant reminder of just how unfair this world can be... I can still hear them taunting him... "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!"... I mean, WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST GIVE HIM SOME CEREAL?
-Carlton

[after Vivian asks Will to be her partner at Soul Train]
Will: I'd like to Aunt Viv, really. But it's hard to get my groove on with an old woman.
[Vivian glares]
Will: Oh, you don't know "kid talk". You know, "bad" is good, "stupid" is wonderful, and "old" is uh... beautiful. You *so* old Aunt Viv. You're the *oldest* woman I've even seen.
-Will

Jazz: Making a baby truly is a blessed event.
Will: Don't you mean "Having a baby"?
Jazz: Trust me on this.
-Jazz, Will

Carlton: Will, you must change!
Will: Carlton, you must grow!
-Carlton, Will

[singing] I'm stuck in a basement, sittin' on a tricycle, girl gettin' on my nerves; Goin' outta my mind, I thought she was fine, don't know if her body is hers.
-Will

Will: Carlton, you'll never guess what happened!
Carlton: well there's no since in me playing is there!
-Will, Carlton

Vivian, you are so naive. You would believe Will if he told you that he were some big rap star, whose album just went platinum.
-Phillip

Congratulate me. It took all day, but I finally found the perfect pair of alligator pumps to wear to the Save the Everglades dinner tonight.
-Hilary

Between you and the humpty dance, I'll have to get a metal plate on my butt.
-Jazz

Well, someone has her rude hat on tonight.
-Carlton

[singing while playing harmonica] My butler is black/My butler is blue/His honey has green/Comin' out her wazoo.
-Will

Phillip Banks: I smell cheap cologne and fried chicken.
Jazz: I resent that.
-Phillip, Jazz

I'm gonna pop that little zit when I get home.
-Will

Phillip Banks: Penn State would've been my first choice if my applications to Princeton, Yale, and Talledega Tech had fallen through.
Dr. Hoover: You must have been an athlete in your thinner days.
-Phillip, Dr. Hoover

Jameson: [Jameson is superstisious and thinks Will is a good luck charm. His horoscope says to stay away from leos] My lucky numbers have always been 3 and 7. Will, when is your birthday?
Will: July 3rd.
Jameson: What year?
Will: 1973.
Jameson: So you were born on 7-3-73? My lucky numbers!
Phillip Banks: Jameson, its just a coincidence.
Jameson: Coincidence? I don't think so.
-Jameson, Will, Phillip

Yeah, my first time was with a girl from the projects. Best 50 bucks I ever spent...
-Jazz

Carlton, I think you've been deprived of oxygen at birth.
-Will

Am I alone in this, or did y'all know he was white? I mean - tall.
-Will
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes

Carlton: You're the man, Will. You're the man. I'm just the man behind the man.
Will: Uh, what're you doin' back there?
-Carlton, WIll

[to Phillip] Hey, hey, hey man. Man, have I told you how thin you're lookin' lately?
-Will

[explaining a shrunken shirt] The directions on the shirt said "Hand Wash". So that's exactly what I did. Before I put the clothes in the washer, I washed my hands.
-Jazz

Ashley: If Jazz and Jewel want to bring a child into this world, who are we to judge? We're no perfect.
Hilary: [snorts] Hello?
-Ashley, Hilary

What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?
-Hilary

[Scott is interested in Hilary]
Scott: Is she involved with anyone?
Will: Mostly herself.
-Scott, WIll

Carlton, you are grounded for a month. Will, added to the month that you already have, it should take you into Fiscal '91.
-Phillip

Maybe I sometimes say things that are selfish and self-centered, but that's who I am, dammit.
-Hilary

I can wash the dishes... My butler can be here in fifteen minutes.
-Hilary

Phillip Banks: Will, going to college isn't just about finding a job. It's about finding yourself, and finding what you do best that makes a contribution to the community. It shouldn't be just about money.
Will: You really believe that, Uncle Phil?
Phillip Banks: Yes, son, I really do.
Will: Then how do you explain becoming a lawyer?
-Phillip, Will

Carlton: I'm sick of being such a big loser.
Will: [faking sympathy] Aw, C - you're not big.
-Carlton, Will

Girl: Excuse me, what's a nine-letter word for "Terrific?"
Will: That's easy: "Will Smith."
-Girl, Will

No, Carlton, if I had your friends, and if I woke up one day and found that I had a little horse on a polo shirt, I'd jump off the Empire State Building in attempt to catch a nail in my eye!
-Will

[Addressing the man in a "Dungy the Whale" costume] Now lookie here, you big, orange, Moby *Dick*.
-Will

Man, I love Halloween! It's the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested!
-Will

I found that any game can be made interesting if you put some money on it.
-Geoffrey

Hilary: Geoffrey, what do you know about wine?
Geoffrey: I know no-one does it better than you, Miss Hilary.
-Hilary, Geoffrey

All right, Will... If that's the way you want it... Mm ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
-Phillip

Hit the road, you little tramp!
-Phillip

[singing] Now this is a story all about how my life got twisted upside down, and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the Prince of a town called Bel-Air...
-Will

Will: I could kill that boy!
Geoffrey: If you're serious, I could make some calls.
-Will,Geoffrey

I'm innocent Will, and this is Uncle Phil, attorney at law... and this is Little Carlton. He's trying to find his way back to the circus.
-Will

[is stuck in an elevator with Jazz and Carlton] Great, now I'm stuck with Ren and Stumpy!
-Will

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