If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris!
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks your an asshole!
If you can read this, get the hell off my ass. (In small text)
I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.
Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
CAUTION! I brake for hookers.
I'm only speeding because I really have to poop!
Don't worry what people think, they don't do it very often.
Be nice to your kids, they'll choose your nursing home.
Submit a Bumper Sticker Quote
Follow Funny Quotes Today on Facebook and Twitter for the Quote of the day.