Gilmore Girls Quotes

Gilmore Girls Quotes

When you date a girl like Rory, you're involved with her whole family. Just like that last girl you dated, you were involved with her whole petri dish.
-Luke

College is breaking my spirit. Every single day, telling me things I don't know. It's making me feel stupid.
-Marty

I don't hate you. I can't hate the pathetic.
-Rory

Are you going to kiss me now? You are so incredibly predictable.
-Lorelai

School comes before mommy's mental health.
-Lorelai

Give me a burger, onion rings, cheese fries, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I'm lookin' for some heroes.
-Lorelai

Yeah, you do know honey that garbage doesn't actually talk at all unless it's on Sesame Street.
-Lorelai

Oh, you know what? I have someone standing abnormally close to me right now. I'll call you later.
-Lorelai

All right, I should go. I called Luke last night and he made me promise to get the truck back by two hours ago, so if I leave now it's sooner than I planned.
-Lorelai

Women don't eat at all. They just look at food then jump on the treadmill.
-Lorelai

Thank you. You know, my parents would love these sandwiches. I wish I could bring 'em by but unfortunately they're in private bible study right now.
-Dave

Richard: Focus, please.
Lorelai: I am a camera.
-Richard, Lorelai

Lorelai: Stop saying 'mother' like that.
Rory: Like what?
Lorelai: Like there should be another word after it.
-Lorelai, Rory

Lorelai: You ruined my joke.
Rory: Um, no, the punchline ruined your joke.
-Lorelai, Rory

Paris: I'm not denying that we've got a May - December romance going on here.
Rory: This is not May - December. This is May - Ming Dynasty.
-Paris, Rory

Sookie: I will give it a 9.
Lorelai: 9+
Sookie: What will make it a 10?
Lorelai: Another half point.
-Sookie, Lorelai

Tom: I got your doors.
Lorelei: Tom, I'm loving you like a two dollar whore.
Tom: Terriffic I'll tell the wife.
-TOm, Lorelei

Luke: Is this how turkey legs are supposed to look?
Carrie: I don't know. Take off your pants and let us see.
-Luke, Carrie

Emily: We intend to leave here completely different people.
Lorelai: Yes, I'm going to be Ted Nugent.
-Emily, Lorelai

Michel: Well, you know what happens when you assume.
Lorelai: What?
Michel: I don't know. Something about a donkey. It is a stupid American phrase.
-Michel, Lorelai

Lorelai: Face it, Luke. People like you.
Luke: Shut up.
Lorelai: And with charm like that, how could they resist?
-Lorelai, Luke

Michel: (Sookie wants Michel to choose a cookie) I don't care.
Sookie: I just need a quick opinion!
Michel: It took me two seconds to tell you I don't care, that's as quick as I get.
-Michel, Sookie

Rory: You're really gonna just stand there and watch me eating a danish?
Luke: Cable is out and I'm starved for entertainment.
-Rory, Luke

Lorelai: Mom, you signed us up for a couple's massage.
Emily: So?
Lorelai: A couple's massage is for a couple... not a couple of people.
-Lorelai, Emily

Lorelai: I'm going to go make out in the coat room. Don't eat my chicken.
Rory: That's going on your tombstone.
-Lorelai, Rory

Rory: Some people like getting up early.
Lorelai: You lie.
-Lorelai, Rory

Lorelai: Be nice.
Rory: You look like Nancy Reagan.
Lorelai: Oh, now how is that nice?
-Lorelai, Rory

Luke: Get out, Taylor.
Taylor: Why?
Luke: It's just a code I live by.
-Luke, Taylor

Paris: We're friends?
Rory: I'm not sure if there is an exact definition for what we are, but I do think it falls somewhere in the bizarro friends-ish realm.
-Paris, Rory

Luke: I didn't kick you out, you got yourself kicked out.
Jess: Nice spin, you should work for Bush!
-Luke, Jess

Emily: You know, some men retire.
Richard: Yes, and some men tattoo their mother's names on their biceps.
Emily: I don't think the two are necessarily linked.
-Emily, Richard

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