The Hangover 2 Movie Quotes

The Hangover 2 Movie Quotes

Ever heard of that guy, Doogie Howser?

I've been uh...meaning to ask someone, I noticed that this is a fishing village, is there a Long John Silvers on the island?

When the monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.

What about England, Phil? Would we be still friends there?

I'm going to miss you monkey. I wish monkeys could Skype. Maybe one day.

There you go. Deep breath. Good. Good. Smoke it in. Breath the smoke into your tiny little lungs. There you go. It's funny, I've never been much of a smoker. But, boy, does it look cool on you

Fuck! I just found his finger!

Yeah! It's my bachelor brunch. Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes, a lap dance from the waitress.

Look at what I've done Phil. What I do. I have a weakness for prostitutes. All Kinds apparently. I have a demon in me.

This is a real tattoo!

You said, I'm a joke. Well, I'm not. I'm not some weird milky, ricey, watery goop that you feed infants and old people. Okay? Maybe, I would be if you added some cayenne pepper! I wish I was a boring dentist, who had boring life and boring friends. But I don't! I'm not! I'm actually part of this weird wolfpack.

The point is, this demon takes me to pretty weird places. Now we lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok. But that same demon, took us to hell and back to find him. We took on Bangkok and we won. Now that's pretty fucking cool, if you ask me! Right?

I made love to a man with boobies!

No! No! I'm not going back without Teddy. It's Laura's little brother, he's lost! He's injured! If I fuck this up, I lose everything.

Well, we're living here in Alan townThe Hangover 2 Quotes. And he's driven our lives into the ground. When we woke up, we were wasted and drunk. Phil got shot. We got beaten by a monk. I was happy and my life was good. Gettin' married like a dentist should. Roasting marshmallows on a stick. I got fucked in the ass by a girl with a dick.
-Stu singing

What the fuck, man? Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone!
-Mr. Chow

Oh, you never do blow before? Sometime your heart stop, start up again. Read a book.
-Mr. Chow

You guys texted me. Said you fucked up and looking to party!
-Mr. Chow

This kids fucking nine years old. He's got balls twice your size. Show him your balls.
-Tattoo Joe

You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion? Started a full on fuckin' riot!
-Tattoo Joe

Come on, Stu. It was beautiful. We climaxed at the same time.

I looked into this eyes. They're not the eyes of a man. The eyes of a coward!

I'm a business man. And I have invested a large chunk of capital in your friend, Chow. And in return he was supposed to transfer our profits electronically about five fucking minutes ago. So last night we took Teddy as insurance.

It's funny, I can't remember anything. But when I woke up I was kinda happy.

By they way, you really need to move that fucking tattoo from your face.
-Mike Tyson

The Buddha believe every memory lives somewhere deep within. Perhaps you should bring your question to the garden of meditation.
-Grand Wizard

Late last night, you climbed the walls of our monastery. Shouting out question about love, marriage, and the meaning of life. Poor brother Han was meditating alone in the garden and you took him.
-Grand Wizard

Alan: Hey, what' the monkey holding?
Stu: aah! That's a finger!
-Alan, Stu

Phil: Pretty cool room, Alan.The Hangover 2 Quotes5
Alan: Oh, thanks Phil. My dad pays my rent.
-Phil, Alan

Phil: You ever do anything that doesn't end up in a stand off, Chow?
Mr. Chow: I'm an international criminal. It always ends like this. I met my wife at one of these things.
-Phil, Chow

Teddy: Hey, mind if I sit?
Alan: Wolfpack only. Find another chair.
-Teddy, Alan

Phil: What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan? Alan, what did you do?
Alan: Well, isn't it obvious? I spiked it with muscle relaxers and plus my ADHD medication.
-Phil, Alan

The Hangover 2 Quotes
Stu: Yes Alan, my bride's little brother is coming to the wedding. Is that okay with you?
Alan: Just the first time I've heard of it. You could have paged me.
-Stu, Alan

Phil: You all right? You warm enough?
Mr. Chow: I don't know. Come feel my balls and tell me. I've been locked in a fucking icebox all day.
-Phil, Mr. Chow

Phil: Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?
Mr. Chow: Alan, called me a few days ago and invited me to wedding.
Stu: Excuse me?
Alan: What? He's my plus one.
Stu: You didn't have a plus one. It's two hundred dollars a plate!
-Phil, Chow, Stu, Alan

Stu: You really need to floss more.
Phil: Fuck that! That's why I come here.
Stu: Well, then you should come more than once every two years.
Phil: Why? So you could bleed me of all my money?
Stu: I never charge you a dime, Phil.
-Stu, Phil

Stu: You know, between Teddy and me you must be pretty excited. Pretty soon you'll have two doctors in the family.
Fohn: You have to realize that in my country we don't consider dentist to be a real doctor.
-Stu, Fhon

Alan: Phil, I think it's happened again!
Phil: Alan, what the fuck did you do?
Alan: I didn't do anything. I swear to God!
-Alan, Phil

Tracy: Phil?
Phil: Tracy, I'm sorry.The Hangover 2 Quotes
Tracy: Where the hell are you?
Phil: It happened again!
Tracy: Don't say that. Please!
Phil: No! This time we really fucked up!
-Tracy, Phil

Alan: My uncle Roger said that he once saw a albino polar bear.
Stu: Really? Polar bears are white. How would he know if it's an albino?
Alan: Well this one was black.
Stu: Do you think maybe he was just a black bear?
-Alan, Stu

Phil: We're looking for our friend Teddy. Have you seen him?
Tattoo Joe: Not since last night. Why? What happened?
Stu: Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister tomorrow and we kinda lost him.
Tattoo Joe: Oh, well. Then, fuck it!
Stu: What? What do you mean, fuck it?
Tattoo Joe: Bangkok has him now, and she'll never let him go.
-Phil, Joe, Stu

Kimmy: You should have seen him. He was so sexy. They way he move round. But I asked him slow down cause I drop my load to quick.
Stu: Load? What load?
Kimmy: Oh, you know. My sperms.
Stu: Uh...your English is off. You're talking about my sperms. Your sperms aren't from...
Kimmy: From my balls.
-Kimmy, Stu

Doug: Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
Stu: Well only if you’re not busy.
Phil: Stu?
Stu: Well, maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town.
Alan: Nope, they’re in Raleigh, Durham that weekend.
-Doug, Stu, Phil, Alan

Fohn: I admit it. When I first met Stu I was not quite sold. He seemed unattractive. He lacked intelligence and imagination. He was missing the spark you look for in a man. But then I look into Stu's eyes, he reminded me of my sweet brother, Chio. For those who do not know, Chio is learning disabled and lives in group home.
Fohn: But Chio loves khao and that's when I realized, Stu is khao.
Stu: What's khao?
Fohn: Khao is soft white rice in lukewarm water. It has no taste. Befitted to small babies and very old people. It is nourishment that everyone can digest. The world needs khao, just as the world needs people like Stu.
-Fhon, Stu

Stu: But it's where her parents are from and it means a lot them.
Phil: Who gives a shit about her parents? And her dad hates you.
Stu: He doesn't hate me. He's just never spoken to me. I think it's cultural thing.
-Stu, Phil

Stu: We didn't get married, did we?
Kimmy: Of course not. We just had some fun in the chardonnay room.
-Stu, Kimmy

Sid Garner: Alan's been waiting for the invite ever since he got wind of the wedding.
Stu: I'm sure he has.
Sid Garner: Yeah. He's been standing outside by the mail box everyday.
-Sid, Stu

Doug: Come on, Stu! Don't you think you're over reacting?
Stu: No, I don't. I'm still putting the broken pieces of my psyche back together. And you know what the glue is? Lauren! And I'm not doing anything to screw that up.
Phil: Oh, please! You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
Stu: Oh, this will be good!
Phil: Stu, think about it. You ended up ditching Melissa and two years later you meet your true soul mate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you would have married a cunt!
-Doug, Stu, Phil

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