Hot Tub Time Machine Movie Quotes

Jacob: For your information, I've had a lot of girlfriends. Hot ones.
Lou: You have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones.
-Jacob, Lou

Lou: Who took my f***in' shoe?!
Jacob: Blaine apparently beat your shoe off of you, which -- I don't even know how that could f***in' happen.
-Lou, Jacob

Yeah, the taxidermist. The taxidermist is stuffing my mother.
-Jacob

Great White Buffalo!
-The Crew

I'm gonna make a prediction right now: One of us is gonna start writing a novel, and then we all get snowed in, and then Lou's gonna axe-murder all of us.
-Jacob

Here's a question: Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question: Do I give a fuck?\
-Lou

It's called male bonding okay. Haven't you even seen 'Wild Hogs'?
-Lou

Lou: I love you, Jacob!
Jacob: "Fuck you!"
-Lou Jacob

America!
-Blaine

Lou: Every young man's fantasy is to have a three-way.
Jacob: Yeah not with another fucking guy!
Lou: It's still a three-way!
-Lou Jacob

That's probably Ashton Kolchak right now, tellin' us we've been 'punk'd' or whatever.
-Adam

Nick: Excuse me Miss, what color is Michael Jackson?
Girl At Bar: black?
Nick: AAHHH!
-Nick, Girl

I didn't fuckin' try and kill myself! If I wanted to kill myself, I'd fuckin' kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. Shotgun to the dick.
-Lou

Hey look, it's the douchbag from Karate Kid 3.
-Jacon about Blaine

I wanna fuck something!
-Lou

I don't like you takin' liberties with my dick.
-Nick to Lou

You're never gonna believe where I'm callin' you from, man. I'm on a mountain, on my phone!
-Random Skier

Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?
-Jacob

Nobody f***s my mother in the past!
-Jacob

I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina.
-Lou

I love how much you hate you.
-Kelly to Lou

God. Relax. It's like you've haven't seen a little cum on your friends face before.
-Lou

Jacob: Guys! This is scientifically possible.
Lou: "Oh, my god. Okay, Professor Hawking, tell me in your robot voice how this is scientifically possible.
-Jacob, Lou

Okay lay down. We got a stupid baby to make.
-Lou


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