I Love Lucy Quotes
LUCY : There are just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.
FRED : Your feet?
RICKY : Maybe she has a sixth sense.
FRED : She might. She never had any before.
RICKY : To my darlin' another Marlon. Well I guess Brando and I do have a lot in common.
FRED : Yeah, I can't understand either of you when you talk.
RICKY : I hate to admit this, but I miss Lucy.
ETHEL : I can top that....I miss Ethel!
ETHEL : Really, honey, were you afraid you'd loose me?
FRED : I'll say. That outfit you're wearing is rented.
RICKY : We'll cook dinner for the girls. Fred, do you know anything about rice?
FRED : Yeah, I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days of my life.
FRED : Those are old Civil War handcuffs.
RICKY : Civil War?!
ETHEL : Have you been saving them ever since them?
-Fred, Ricky, Ethel
LUCY : I have a plan.
ETHEL : I'm still recuperating from your last plan.
Look, Fred, I may speak with an accent, but I don't listen with one!
Look, all I know is that Columbus discovered Ohio in 1776.
RICKY : Honey, you can't go running around Paris all by yourself.
LUCY : Why not?
RICKY : What about your French?
LUCY : What about my French?!
RICKY : Well, Paris is a big city, and not knowing the language, you're liable to get in a lot of trouble.
LUCY : Well, when you first came to the U.S., you didn't get into a lot of trouble because you didn't know the language, did you?
RICKY : I'm married aren't I? She told me that "I Do" meant "Pleased to meet you," and then she introduced me to the preacher.
RICKY : What's wrong with you?
LUCY : I gave Arthur a dancing lesson.
RICKY : Arthur? Arthur who?
LUCY : Well, believe me, it wasn't Arthur Murray
He's baba'd his last lu!
RICKY : Look honey, Italy has enough problems already. I don't want to have to worry about you lousing up the entire grape industry.
LUCY : Oh, all I want to do it soak up a little local color, so I'll know what I'm acting about. What could possibly happen to me?
RICKY : Well, I could answer that but we're only going to be here ten days.
LUCY : I don't think it's very nice of you making fun of my Spanish.
RICKY : Well, you've been making fun of my English for fifteen years.
LUCY : That's different. Spanish is a foreign language.
RICKY : English is a foreign language to me.
LUCY : Well, the way you speak it, it is to me too.
Now I know why they call them tellers. They go around blabbing everything they know.
Ever since we said "I Do" there are so many things we don't.
LUCY : Gee, did you hear that, honey? It's going to be called "Bitter Grapes." I wonder what part they want me for.
FRED : Oh, you're probably going to be one of the bunch.
LUCY : That must be my dear friend Ethel. Oh, I'll open the door, Fred.
FRED :Open it?! I was going to lock it!
FRED : Two other people wanted to buy this car.
LUCY : Where were they from...the Smithsonian Institute?
I may not be able to understand what you say when you say it, but before you say it, I can understand what you're going to say perfectly.
Oh, just show her money and she'll do anything. She is the greediest, the penny-pinchingest, the....Caroline darling, how are you, Dear?
I know there's nothing to it, but I want to know what it is there's nothing to.
LUCY : Budget my time? You mean, like I budget my money?
RICKY : Heaven forbid!
LUCY : So I gave Arthur a dancing lesson to get Peggy off your neck.
RICKY : What are you whispering for?
LUCY : If my feet ever find out it was my idea, they'll kill me.
LUCY : It's your fault for getting all tangles up in my line.
RICKY : It's my fault for getting tangled up with you fifteen years ago.
LUCY : Ricky? Fred? We're revolting.
RICKY : No more than usual.
LUCY : Now honey, remember when we were married you wanted to be joined together in matrimony.
RICKY : And as I recall it was 'til death do us part.
LUCY : Yeah, that's right.
RICKY : That event is about to take place right now!
LUCY : Now, what would you do if the first time I met you, I insulted you, spilled stuff all over you and acted like a first class nincompoop.
RICKY : Just what I did, wait for my suit to come back from the cleaners, then marry you.
LUCY : Bake?! Like I bake a cake?
RICKY : I hope not.
RICKY : There you go again; wanting something that you haven't got.
LUCY : I do not. I just want to see what it is that I haven't got that I don't want.
RICKY : How do spell s'perience?
LUCY : E-x-p
RICKY : E-x? You're kidding!
ETHEL : If I let my hair go like that you'd never let me hear the end of it.
FRED : Honeybunch, if the rest of you looked like that I wouldn't care if you were bald.
Common sense has nothing to do with it -- when I say he's wrong, he's wrong!
If I had known THIS is what friends were for, I'd have signed up as an enemy!
ETHEL : Oh, thirteen more hours in this sardine can.
LUCY : The sardines were better off, they got all that oil to wiggle around in.
LUCY : Wait a minute, if they weren't asleep, they were awake!
ETHEL : Well, that's a monumental conclusion.
ETHEL : Are you sure he'll do it?
LUCY : Listen, Ethel, next to sugar, Cuba's biggest export is ham.
ETHEL : What does your letter say?
LUCY : "Dear Lucy, how are you and Mickey? I couldn't find your address, so I am sending this to Ethel Mertz. If you get it, please let me know as I have made a copy of it." Well, that's thinking. "The copy is enclosed. As a matter of fact, if you have read this far, you must have received this letter, so tear up the copy and thank Ethel for me."
ETHEL : There's lots of things you're good at.
LUCY : Like what?
ETHEL : Well, you're awfully good at...uh... You've always been great at...
LUCY : Those are the same ones Ricky came up with.
I didn't tell a soul, and they all promised to keep it a secret.
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