The world can really kick your ass. I only have a VAGUE recollection of when it wasn't kickin' mine.
-Roy
WHO YOU CALLIN' PSYCHO?
-Roy
Just because you're familiar with the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary.
-Roy
Some of the dresses ya' got, ya' need two hairdos to wear.
-Roy
Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don't mow another guy's lawn.
-Roy
The world can really kick your ass. I only have a vague recollection of when it wasn't kickin' mine.
-Roy
How about a gross of fluorescent condoms for the the novelty machine in the men's room? I mean, those are fun even when you're alone. We're talkin' the hula hoop of the nineties.
-Roy
Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?
-Ernie
It's a small world when you've got unbelievable tits Roy.
-Ernie
You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels.
-Ernie
What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? You really jarred something loose tiger.
-Landlady
I didn't want to be the one to tell him, but with those narrow hips, that girl couldn't have more than 6 or 7 children!
-Ishmael
Run for the hills everybody, there's a giant shit-cloud coming.
-Ishmael
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning Mr. McCracken's already there.
-Little Boy
Mr. Boorg: How many children do you have?
Roy: None that I know of. I mean, I'm unable to have children. Nasty cheese grating accident as a boy.
-Mr. Boorg
Claudia: It must be hard to spank your monkey.
Ishmael: You have a monkey?
-Claudia, Ishmael
Ishmael: Whatcha doin', Mr. Munson?
Roy: Flossin'.
Ishmael: Flossin? Where the hell did I get "Munson"?
Roy: The name's Munson, what I'm doin' is flossin'.
Ishmael, Roy
Ishmael: You been drinking, Mr. Munson?
Roy: I don't puke when I drink. I puke when I don't.
-Ishmael, Roy
Neighbor: Hey Roy, can you get sick from drinking piss?
Roy: I think you can.
Neighbor: Even if its your own?
-Neighbor, Roy
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