Meet the Parents Movie Quotes

Meet the Parents Movie Quotes

I will be watching you.

Trust me, Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll feel the need for this type of security.

I'm a realist. I understand it's the 21st century and you've probably had premarital relations with my daughter. But under our roof, it's my way or the Long Island Expressway. Is that understood?

Greg's a male nurse.

You tried to milk him, didn't you you sick son of a bitch?

I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.

Jesus, Focker. It's just a game.

Yeah it's a Taurus. Yeah, we were going to get a mid-size, but I figure, hey, we pull down decent bucks. Might as well go all out, and pop for the full-size.

Oh, oh check my pulse on this one, Jack. Do I think you're a psycho? Yes.

I'm gonna go upstairs and pay a visit to the shower fairy.

I'm not raising my voice. THIS WOULD BE RAISING MY VOICE TO YOU, okay? I don't want to check my bag, okay? And, by the way, your airline? You SUCK at checking bags, okay, because I already did that once and you lost it, and then I had everything screwed up very badly for me, okay?

Hey, listen, be nice to this one, okay? I kinda like him.

I love you, Dad, but you can be a real jerk sometimes.

Meet the Parents Movie

Pam Byrnes: Take it easy on the sarcasm. Humor is entirely wasted on my parents.
Greg Focker: What are they... Amish?
-Pam, Greg

Greg Focker: Hey Jack, why don't you tell 'em about your little phone call in Thai.
Dina Byrnes: Jack can't talk Thai.
Greg Focker: Oh no, Dina, Jack can talk Thai. Jack talked Thai real well.
-Greg, Dina

Greg Focker: This handles like a dream.
Larry: Let's not make it a nightmare.
-Greg, Larry

Pam Byrnes: I had no idea you could milk a cat!
Greg Focker: Oh, you can milk just about anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?
-Pam, Greg, Jack

Denny Byrnes: You just sniffing my boxers, man?
Greg Focker: No, dude
-Denny, Greg

Jack Byrnes: I mean, can you ever really trust another human being, Greg?
Greg Focker: Sure, I think so.
Jack Byrnes: No. The answer is you cannot.
-Jack, Greg

Pam: What's the matter sweetie? Can't sleep?
Greg: No,no. I was just going over my answers to the polygraph test your dad just gave me.
-Pam, Greg

Dina Byrnes: I just feel sorry the poor boy never had a home-cooked meal. What kind of family doesn't have time to sit down for dinner?
Jack Byrnes: Fugitives.
-Dina, Jack

Dina Byrnes: Looks like we've got another wedding to plan.
Jack Byrnes: Yep. Just got to do one more thing.
Dina Byrnes: What's that?
Jack Byrnes: Meet his parents.
-Dina, Jack

Jack Byrnes: So what if he took the MCATs? He's still not good enough for Pam.
Dina Byrnes: Who is, Jack? Nobody has ever been good enough for your Pam. I mean, do you realize that you never even warmed up to Kevin until she broke up with him? Maybe it's time you think about what Pam wants.
-Jack, Dina

Pam: Jesus, Dad, you ever think of knocking?
Jack: Not in my own den. What are you two doing in here?
Larry: I'd say rounding second.
-Pam, Jack, Larry

Jack: Oh, geez. I just thought of something.
Dina: What?
Jack: Pam's middle name.
Dina: Martha... Oh, no.
Jack, Dina: Pamela Martha Focker.
-Jack, Dina

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