Mrs. Doubtfire Movie Quotes

Mrs. Doubtfire Movie Quotes

Ohh thank you, dear. Yes, touch me again and I'll drown you ya bastard!
-Mrs. Doubtfire

Oh! Oh, I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists, they ran that way, it was a run-by fruiting!
-Mrs. Doubtfire

You know they often say a man with a car like that's trying to compensate for smaller genitals. But not in your case, cause I see that you're a strapping aren't ya.
-Mrs. Doubtfire

Oh, as I hold this cold meat, I'm reminded of Winston.
-Mrs. Doubtfire

Carpe dentum. Seize the teeth.
-Mrs. Doubtfire

I admire that honesty, Natalie, that's a noble quality. Never lose that, because it often disappears with age, or entering politics.
-Mrs. Doubtfire

Isn't this posh? I'll bet it's very exclusive, probably need a credit reference just to get in the pool.
-Mrs. Doubtfire

Look at this! My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes.
-Mrs. Doubtfire

I can hip-hop, be-bop, dance till ya drop, and yo yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa.
-Mrs. Doubtfire

Upstairs, my little noseminers! Go! Flee before me! Onward and upward! Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums!
-Mrs. Doubtfire

I hope you bring cocktail sauce. She's got the crabs dear and I don't mean Dungeness.
-Mrs. Doubtfire

Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day, and look at it and say "this is not my life"?
-Daniel

They should have a little disclaimer that says "Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Watching This Show". Incredible. This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid. Amazing. He has the warmth of a snow pea. He makes Mister Rogers look like Mick Jagger.
-Daniel

I bring home a birthday cake and a few gifts. You bring home the goddamn San Diego Zoo and I have to clean up after it!
-Miranda

Daniel: Well let's take a little vacation together with the kids, and get you away from work. You're a different person. You really are. You're great.
Miranda: Oh Daniel, our problems would be waiting for us right here when we got back.
-Daniel, Miranda

Mrs. Doubtfire: What a lovely home you have. Did you decorate this yourself?
Miranda: Yes, I did.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, it reeks of taste!
-Mrs. Doubtfire, Miranda

Daniel: Could you make me a woman?
Frank: Honey, I'm so happy!
-Daniel, Frank

Lydie: Who did this?
Daniel: Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack, and this is just a body suit, I didn't have any surgery.
-Lydie, Daniel

Jonathan Lundy: Daniel?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Yeah?
Jonathan Lundy: Why in God's name are you dressed like a woman?
-Jonathan Lundy, Daniel

Chris: You don't really like wearin' that stuff, do you Dad?
Daniel: Well, some of it's comfortable. No! It's a pain in the padded ass!
-Chris, Daniel

Mrs. Doubtfire: Marriage can be such a blessing.
Miranda: So can divorce.
-Mrs. Doubtfire, Miranda

Mrs. Doubtfire: Dear, I always say, a flawed husband is better than none at all.
Miranda: Who needs a husband when I've got you?
-Mrs. Doubtfire, Miranda

Miranda: Mrs. Doubtfire.
Mrs. Doubtfire: What?
Miranda: You're going into the men's room.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Huh? Oh, so it is. I do need new glasses.
-Mrs. Doubtfire, Miranda

Mrs. Doubtfire: I hope you don't mind me being a tad rude, but... how was he? You know, on a scale of 1 to 10?
Miranda: Well, that part was always... okay.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Just okay? Well, he was probably a Casanova compared to poor old Winston.
-Mrs. Doubtfire, Miranda

Cop: Ma'am, are you aware that it's against the law to possess animals of a barnyard nature in a residential area?
Miranda: What if you're married to one?
-Cop, Miranda

Mrs. Dupree: I don't do laundry, I don't do windows, I don't do carpets, I don't do bathtubs, I don't do toilets, I don't do diapers...
Miranda: Um, my children have been potty-trained for quite some time.
Mrs. Dupree: Well, I don't do washing, I don't do basements, I don't do dinners, and I don't do reading!
-Mrs. Dupree, Miranda

Jonathan Lundy: Daniel?
Daniel: Hmm?
Jonathan Lundy: Are you wearing ladies' perfume?
Daniel: Yes, I am.
Jonathan Lundy: Are you wearing lipstick?
Daniel: Yeah.
Jonathan Lundy: Why?
Daniel: It rubbed off.
Jonathan Lundy: From whom?
Daniel: Girl I used to date. She's a waitress.
Jonathan Lundy: A waitress? Here?
Daniel: Oh, yeah. On the way to the bathroom... couldn't keep her hands off me.
Jonathan Lundy: You dog.
-Jonathan Lundy, Daniel


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