Office Space Movie Quotes

Office Space Movie Quotes

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man
-Peter/Lawrence

I-I-I believe you have my stapler
-Milton

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
-Peter

Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions.
-Steve

Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him about it; but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.
Bob Slydell: So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch.
-Bob S/ Bob P

Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?
-Lumbergh

Oh, and remember: next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.
-Lumbergh

What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe?
-Peter

Not right now, Lumbergh, I'm kinda busy. In fact, look, I'm gonna have to ask you to just go ahead and come back another time. I got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple of minutes
-Peter

Hey peter man, turn on channel 9, thry're doin boobie exams
-Lawrence

I'm a free man and I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months.
-Michael Bolton

He represents all that is soulless and wrong! And you slept with him!
-Peter

I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.
-Milton

Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this but us, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
-Peter

So you guys are gonna fire Mike and Samir, and you're gonna give me more money?
-Peter

So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
-Peter

I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up money laundering in a dictionary.
-Peter

Office Space Quotes
Michael Bolton: Samir and I are the best programmers they got at that place. You haven't been showing up and you get to keep your job.
Peter Gibbons: Actually, I'm being promoted.
-Michael/Peter

Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob
-Bob/Peter

Joanna: How dare you judge me? I mean what are you? You think you're some kind of, like, angel here? No, you're just this penny-stealing, wanna-be criminal man.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, well, that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
-Peter/Joanna

I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. Now we had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.
-Bob Slydell

I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face.
-Drew

Looks like someones got a case of the Mondays.
-Security

It was a Jump to Conclusions mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor... and would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to.
-Tom

"I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there."
- Bill Lumbergh

Greeeeeeeaaaaat.
-Lumbergh

"PC Load Letter"? What the f*** does that mean?
-Michael

yaaaaa I'm goin need those TPS reports due as soon as possible, thinkin' u can get on that?
ggrrreaattt.
-lumberg

You can just go ahead and move a little bit to the left. Yeah, that's it. Great
-Lumberg

Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.
-Peter

Lawrence: We still goin' fishin' this weekend?
Peter Gibbons: Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday, I just know it.
-Peter/Lawrence

If they take my stapler, I-I-I'll burn the place down!
-Milton

Corporate accounts payable, Nina Speaking....... Just a Moment.
-Nina

"Hey Peter, I'm gonna have to ask you to come in on Saturday... so if you could just get here around 9:00, that would be great.
Oh, yeahhhh, I'm gonna need to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday too."
- Bill Lumberg

I'll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman".
-Bob Slydell


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