Pineapple Express Movie Quotes

Pineapple Express Movie Quotes

War is upon you! Prepare to suck the cock of karma!
-Ken

You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, motherfucker!
-Red

There you go. Why don't you just follow his lead and just chill out, man?
-Red

Thug Life!
-Red

I am not gonna wake up murdered tomorrow!
-Red

I used to use this little gun when I was a prostitute.
-Red

I'm just up here, tryin' to get a motherfuckin' scholarship!
-Red

What the fuck, man? You shot me in my stomach! I'm gon' die now probably! Man, I had y'all over for dinner - fish tacos! This how you do me?
-Red

You're in the jungle now, Baby!
-Saul

If anyone asks, you got it from Sau - -I mean... Santiago and... Dunbar.
-Saul (Selling weed to kids)

Well be careful, man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
-Saul

There's a fly in the ointment, shits hittin' the fan, the lion will speak!
-Saul

It's almost a shame to smoke it. It's like killing a unicorn... with, like, a bomb.
-Saul

What you do... is you light all three ends at the same, and the smoke converges, creating a *trifecta* of joint-smoking power. This is it, man. This is what your grandchildren are gonna be smoking. Future, that future.
-Saul

Fuck the po-lice!
-Saul

Holy cock!
-Saul

When my foot was in the hole - and my groin - man, I felt like a wishbone.
-Saul

What's down there, a fucking Rancor?
-Saul

Has anyone seen my bigger knife?
-Ted Jones

Angie, you're a fucking idiot. I say that with love.
-Robert

You used to be fierce. You used to be ruthless!
-Matheson

I may act tough, but i got a lot of feelings, and you hurt damn near everyone of them.
-Matheson

Tear this ass up!
-Matheson

I look like the Hamburglar.
-Matheson

Ken: Tonight we cook up some shit. Take his stash and burn the motherfucker down.
Ken: No retreat, no surrender!
-Ken

You, suck my balls. Two times!
-Ken

You were cold and I "clothed" you.
-Dale

Saul, help me! Help me! He's punching my bum!
-Dale

Angie: Fuck you, Dale. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, okay? How many women have you even slept with?
Dale: Like two and a half.
Angie: Two and a half? What is a half, your hand? That doesn't count!
-Angie, Dale

Saul: Hey, look: it's like my thumb is my cock.
Dale: That's not gonna get us a ride, man.
-Saul, Dale

Dale: Even if he found that roach, how could he find us?
Saul: Um... heat-seeking missiles... bloodhounds... and foxes... barracudas...
-Dale, Saul

Budlofsky: No, I can't. My wife can always tell. She can smell it on my sweater.
Matheson: You want my vest? It smell good.
Budlofsky: It's not my style.
Matheson: You ain't got no style, muthafucka.
-Budlofsky, Matheson

Matheson: You know you gonna die, right?
Saul: Yeah.
Matheson: I'm gonna kill the fuck out of you! I hope you enjoy these last seventeen minutes of your life.
-Matheson, Saul

Robert: Are you high?
Dale: What? No!
Shannon: You are high as a fucking kite!
-Robert, Dale, Shannon

Robert: You assholes do exactly as I say, or I will take you outside and fuck you in the street!
Dale: No! Don't fuck us anywhere!
-Robert, Dale

Saul: BFFF?
Dale: Best Fuckin' Friends Forever, man!
-Saul, Dale

Dale: Hey, man, what happened to your lip?
Saul: Yeah... it looks like you've been crying or something...
Red: Um, actually, my lip, that's a cold sore. And I've never had a cold sore before, so I cried.
Saul: Dude, a cold sore? Does that mean like... herpes?
Red: Yes, that's what it means. I have herpes.
Saul: Herpes... Whoa, do you know how many, like, joints we've shared?
Red: Yes, I know, I'm a disgusting person.
-Dale, Saul, Red

Dale: I'm gonna get us out of here!
Saul: No, you're not. But it's okay.
-Dale, Saul

Saul: I think we should stay!
Dale: Why?
Saul: ...Cause I'm in the dumpster already!
-Saul, Dale

Red: I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I'm stone or because I have no blood left in my body.
Dale: Well, you've been shot like seven times.
-Red, Dale

Saul: You still got that bong I got you when I was in Tel Aviv?
Red: Hell yeah, Bong Mitzvah! Hit it up, dude!
-Red, Saul


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