Sanford and Son Quotes

You are so ugly that if you pressed your face in some dough... you'd have gorilla cookies.
-Fred

You big dummy!!
-Fred Sanford

The truth will set you free!!! Oh Lord!!
-Esther

Lamont: You're a dirty old man, ya hear that?
Fred: And I'm gonna be one until I'm a dead old man!
-Lamont, Fred

My my poor couch. I bet you never been sat on by a buffalo!
-Fred

Esther, I could take your face, roll it in some dough, and make some gorilla cookies!
-Fred Sanford

Fred Sanford you ole fish-eyed fool!
-Esther

Grady, you're gonna be the first person in history to get busted for molesting a vegetable.
-Lamont

How would you like one across yo lip?
-Fred

Fred: I still want to sow some wild oats!
Lamont: At your age, you don't have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat!
-Fred, Lamont

Esther: "Well no matter. I'm willing to put it all behind me now."
Grady: "Looks like it's already there."
-Esther and Grady

I'm 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I'd settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.
-Fred

See, this is a combination of swiss cheese and gaucomole. I call it, " Holy Moly."
-Fred

Fish-eyed fool!
-Aunt Esther

You big dummy.
-Fred

You just suck on that sucker, sucka.
-Aunt Esther

I ain't afraid to give you one across the lips!
-Fred

I'm gonna tie you up and throw the knot away!
-Fred

You just dumb, son. You just dumb.
-Fred

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