Semi-Pro Movie Quotes

In the anals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.
-Jackie Moon

Dick Pepperfield: Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette?
Lou Redwood: No. I like to smoke when I drink.
-Dick, Lou

No refunds, consider your refund escaping this death trap with your lives!
-Jackie Moon

Dick Pepperfield: How did you learn to play basketball?
Jackie Moon: I saw it on TV a couple times, I thought, I could do that.
-Dick, Jackie

I've never been traded for a washing machine before.
-Ed Monix

Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.
-Jackie Moon

Cover your sodas! Dewey loves sugar!
-Jackie Moon

Lynn: You think I've forgotten that you cheated on me twice?
Monix: I only cheated on you once. There just had to be two women.
-Lynn, Monix

Suck my cock! I'll kill your family!
-Jackie Moon

I am great at free throws. Seriously, free throws are, like, my best thing.
-Jackie Moon

If you see an opposum, kill it. It’s not a pet.
-Jackie Moon

Damnit, Vakidis! Learn fucking English!
-Jackie Moon

I , Jackie Moon, will wrestle a bear.
-Jackie Moon

It feels like I got cat piss in my eyes.
-Jackie Moon

It's like the Titanic but with bears!
-Jackie Moon

Who the fuck is Bambi?
-Coffee Black


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