Shaun of the Dead Movie Quotes

Shaun of the Dead Movie Quotes

Don't forget to kill Phillip!

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

Can I get any of you cunts a drink?

Wa'ssup, niggas?

Well, your mum rang about going out tonight, then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.

Cock it!

If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going into that pub every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.

For a hero, you're quite a hypocrite!

I'm not the one being unreasonable, pickle!

In extreme circumstances, the assailants can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain. I will repeat that: by removing the head or destroying the brain.
-Jeremy Thompson

Come and get it! It's a running buffet! All you can eat!

He's not my dad. He's my stepdad.

Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!

Mum, what if I told you that on several occasions, he touched me. That was made up, not true, shouldn't have said that.

As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "i" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team... I don't know what he's talking about.

Ed, this is serious!

What's the matter, David? Never taken a shortcut before?

Would anyone like... a peanut?


Sort your fucking life out, mate!

Vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.

Ed: You gonna thank me then?
Shaun: For what?
Ed: Tidying up!
Shaun: Doesn't look that tidy.
Ed: Well, I had a few beers when I finished.
-Ed, Shaun

Shaun: Don't point that gun at my mum!
Ed: Don't point that gun at Barbara!
-Shaun, Ed

Liz: It's just that with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out, and then that only exacerbates things.
Shaun: What you mean?
Liz: Well, you guys hardly get on, do you?
Shaun: No, I mean, what does 'exacerbate' mean?
-Liz, Shaun

Shaun: Philip, have you still got the child-locks on?
Philip: Safety first, Shaun.
-Shaun, Philip

Liz: I love you, Ed
Ed: Cheers.
Shaun: I love you too, Ed.
Ed: Gay.
-Liz, Ed, Shaun

Shaun: He's not my boyfriend!
Ed: It might be a bit warm, the cooler's off.
Shaun: Thanks, babe.
-Shaun, Ed

Shaun: You know, I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum, and my girlfriend all in the same evening.
Liz: What makes you think I've taken you back?
Shaun: Well, you don't want to die single do you?
-Shaun, Liz

Barbara: Some men tried to get into the house.
Shaun: Well are they still there?
Barbara: I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.
-Barbara, Shaun

Shaun: David, kill the Queen.
David: What?!
Shaun: The bloody music!
-Shaun, David

Follow Funny Quotes Today on Facebook and Twitter for the Quote of the day.