D'oh!
-Homer Simpson
I can't stand to see you so upset, Lis, unless it's from a rubber spider down your dress - Hmm, that gives me an idea note for later: put rubber spider down Lisa's dress.
-bart
whats the matter homer?
-moe
Aye Carumba!
-Bart
The police couldn't even catch cooties at Milhouse's birthday party!
-Homer
I don't even have a last name. I'M JUST WILLIE! - Groundskeeper Willie
-Groundskeeper Willie
You've mastered a dead tounge. BUT CAN YOU HANDLE A LIVE ONE!?
-Groundskeeper Willie
Your toys are fun to touch. Mine are all sticky.
-Ralph
I taste FREEDOM!
-Sideshow Mel
Krusty: What would you do if I went off the air? Kids: We'd kill ourselves!
-Krusty and kids
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Nixon, Comet, Cupid, Donna Dixon.
-Homer
The lamp's running away! Grandpa that's my dog.
-Grandpa & Bart
Hey, you're right! It doesnt hurt any more. Now I can focus of my crippling emotional pain..... Dad, Daddy, why? Why wont you hug me? You hugged the mailman.
-moe
the doctor says it wouldn't bleed so much if I kept my finger outta there!
-ralph
I bent my wookie!
-ralph
I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
-bart
Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.
-bart
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
-homer
Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
-bart
I ate-d the purple barries!
-ralph wiggum
I cannot promise i'll try, but i'll try to try
-Bart
God Schmod, i want my Monkey man.
-Bart
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to 'speed' around a city, keeping its 'speed' over fifty, and if its 'speed' dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
-Homer
Pain was like a drug, but what was more like a drug were the drugs.
-Homer
Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the G's!!
-Homer
This is the biggest frameup since OJ. Wait a minute...the blood in the Bronco, the cuts on his hands, those Jay Leno monolouges?! Oh my god he did it!!!
-Homer
The restraining order says "no no", but her eyes say "yes yes"
-Comic Book Guy
Hi, I'm Dr. Cheeks. I was doin my rounds and uh, I'm a little behind.
-Bart
Now, throughout history, when people get wood, they'll think of Trojans.
-Ned Flanders
Le Grille?!! What the hell is that??!
-Homer
I wanna set the record straight...I thought the cop was a prostitute.
-Homer
*Gasps* Computers can do that?!?
-Homer
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals... fLAMing!!
-Homer
No one's gay for Moleman.
-Hans Moleman
eat my shorts!!
-Bart
my cat's breath smells like cat food
-ralph
Mmmm..... Beer!
-Homer
Mmm...64 slices of American Cheese!
-Homer
Surely there's no harm lying in the middle of a public street.
-Sideshow Bob
Excellent!
-Montgomery Burns
I WANT MY ELEPHANT!! I WANT MY ELEPHANT!!
-Bart
English? pfff, who needs that? i'm not going to England
-Homer
Me? Fail English? That's Un-possible!
-Ralph
At my house we call fires 'uh-ohs'.
-Ralph
Ralphie: Eww...daddy! It tastes like Grandma!
Wiggum: Hey, you're right. It does taste like Grandma!
Ralphie: I want more!
-Ralphie and Officer Wiggum
Excellent
-Mr.Burns
oh boy trash cookies, uh oh I think I ate a dog food lid
-Bart
Why you little.....
-Homer
*BURP*
-Barney
Hi I'm Troy McLure. You may remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint: Delicious but Deadly and 3x2= -Fun.
-Troy McLure
Trying is the first step towards failure.
-Homer Simpson
I didn't do it
-Bart
I'm Idaho.
-Ralph
Duffman can never die! Only the actors who play him
-Duffman
Stupid best friend Flanders....
-Homer
Alchol is a way of life! Alchol is my way of life and I plan on keeping it!!
-Homer
Oh ya drugs...you gotta have drugs.....
-Homer
Well, I paid for this ticket, that means I'm going.(climbs out window,then returns) I love you Krusty-wusty.(kisses doll)
-Bart
Are You kidding? I can pull a better cartoon outta my aaaa..hey hey kids! Wasn't that a great cartoon?
-Krusty the Clown
WE HAVE A KITCHEN?!
-Homer
Ah, my heart just stopped...Oh, there it goes.
-Barney
(reading Lisa's Valentine card) 'You Choo-Choo-Choose me?'
-Ralph
Mmm...Strained peas!
-Homer
The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into a football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
-Homer
Uh, Homer Sexual? C'mon, one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual! Heh heh, don't look at me!
-Moe and Homer
Eat My Shorts!
-Bart
Here comes Screwy, the mechanical rabbit.
-Announcer
Awwwwwwwwww twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut! Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts! Explain how! Money can be used to buy goods and services! Whoo hooo!
-Homer
Being eaten by a crocodile is like falling asleep...in a giant blender.
-Homer
When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!
-Ralph
Haw-haw!
-Nelson
Ruff, ruff! I'm Poochie the rockin' dog!
-Poochie
Pick me, pick me teacher. I'm ever-so smart!
-Martin
I've been singing you songs all day. I'm not a bloody jukebox.
-Shary Bobbins
Mmm...Chocolate, ooh...double chocolate, (gasp) new flavor...TRIPLE chocolate!!!!!
-Homer
The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there!
-Ralph
Willy: It brings us love KILL IT, BREAK ITS LEGS!! Smithers: Noo it's Mr.Burns! Willy: Awww, its Mr. Burns.. KILL IT KILL IT!!
-Grounds Keeper Willy and Smithers
I must save the wee turtles! If I dont' save the wee turtles who will!? AHH SAVE ME FROM THE WEE TURTLES! They were too quick for me!
-Grounds Keeper Willy
GRREASE ME UP WOMAN! ...ookie dokie.
-Grounds Keeper Willy & Lunch Lady Dorris
homer: hey moe I have this friend named joey joe joe shabado
moe: that is the worst name ever
(man runs away)
barney: hey joey joe joe!!
-homer,moe, man, barney
I got some cool pogs, alf pogs, remember alf he's back in pog form
-milhouse van houten
(Squirts ketchup in a bullseye on bare chest)
Homer: Here, shirty shirt shirt.
-Homer
thank you.come again.
-apu
Take that, you lousy dimension!
-Chief Wiggum
mmmm... crayon tastes like purple
-Homer
Every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my head!
-Homer
Okay brain, you dont like me and i dont like you
-Homer
"I call the big one bitey"
-Homer
"HEY!!!! This bandstand wasn't double bolted!"
-James Brown
Don't have a cow, man!
-Bart
If only they had peewee hockey when I was a lad.
-Snake
I-i have to do this for work.
-Homer
I think i wet my bed!
-Ralph
"They taste like... burning!".
-Ralph Wiggum
Ha, Ha!!!!
-Nelson
Well, class, the history of our country has been changed again, to correspond with Bart's answers on yesterday's test. America was now discovered in 1942 by... ''some guy.'' And our country isn't called America anymore... it's Bonerland.
-Mrs. Krabappel.
The world needs a clown.
-Young Milhouse
Look what you've done, you flying fat man!
-Apu
Why do people run away from me? (wets pants)
-Ralph Wiggum
Stupid gravity
-Homer
You're not sharks, you're dolphins, the clowns of the sea
-Lenny
stupid tv! be more funny!
-homer
Marge: Now Homer don't you eat this pie! Homer: ok pie im just going to do this (chomping sound) and if you get eaten it's your own fault (walks forward with eyes closed making the chomping sound.........hits the wall) ooooooo crap it hurts oooooooo!!!!
-Homer and Marge
Baby made a boom-boom
-Homer
Bart's teacher's name is Krabappel? I've been calling her Crandall!
-Homer
Rod Flanders: I'm jealous of girls 'cause they get to wear dresses.
-Rod Flanders
Lisa: That's Latin, Dad; the language of Plutarch. Homer: Mickey Mouse's dog
-Lisa Homer
Ralph: Daddy, these rubber pants are hot. Chief Wiggum: You'll wear 'em till you learn, son.
-Ralph Chief Wiggum
Hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt.
-Moe
Mmm...Urinal fresh.
-Homer
Mmm...Crumbled-up cookie things.
-Homer
Dad, can I anoint the sores on his feet?
-Rod Flanders
Mmm...Ooh...Maca-ma-damia nuts.
-Homer
Now bring us some extra chairs like a good blubber-in-law.
-Selma
Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.
-Homer
If you think I'm cuddly, And you want my company, Come on wifey, let me know. Ugh ugh ugh.
-Ned Flanders
Ay ay ay. Me no gusta.
-Bumblebee Man
Robot Animals: (singing) You're the birthday, you're the birthday, you're the birthday boy or girl.
-Robot Animals
Mmm...something.
-Homer Simpson
Uh oh, we've drawn Judge Synder again! Is that a bad thing? Well, he's had it in for me since I've ran over his dog. You did? Well, replace the kind of with the word repeatedly and the word dog with son.
-Lionel (the attorney man) & Marge
Mmmmm..... Corn Starch......
-Homer
Because no one ever suspects the Butterfly.
-Bart
USA! USA!
-homer
Moe: it can deep fry a buffalo in 40 seconds. homer: *sigh* but I want it now
-homer & moe
Le grille? What the hell is that?
-homer
eww...daddy, this tastes like grandma!
-ralph wiggum
(looking into mirror) Mirror mirror on the wall who's the baldest of them all...?
-Homer
Bonjourrrrrrrr, yeh cheese-eating surrender monkeys!
-Groundskeeper Willy teaches French
I can't drive 55...I can only drive 38.
-Comic Book Guy
Hey, Marge, look! A walk-in microwave!
-Homer
Hey! Phone call for Al C'hol!
-moe
Bart:Can I bring my lazer pointer?
Homer: Why do I care?
-Bart and Homer
Homer:Now I think you owe me half a sandwhich
*Marge takes out sandwhich*
Marge:I always keep one near the bedside for you.
-Homer and Marge
Bart: bla bla bla bla bla sit. santa's little helper: (sits)
-bart and santa's little helper
*choking bart* YOU WRECKED MY LIFE!
-Older Lisa
*running to a cliff nude* I can fly! I can fly! OK, I can't fly. But I can glide! *jumps off cliff*
-Bus Driver
*yelling*Why did you buy the first hover car ever made?
-Bart
What are you going to do? Release the dogs? or the bees? or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?
-Homer
OOH!! they have the internet on COMPUTERS now!!!
-Homer
Uh-oh. I don't understand a word he's saying! I wish I was at home watching tv with a bag of chips.Mmm...chips...
-Homer
Uh oh, I think I might have brained my damage
-Homer
Bart no like, bad medicine
-Bart
Lisa crying: I'm a monster Homer: No the only monster here, and I call him gamblor. Come we must save her from his neon clutches
-Lisa and homer
Bart I don't want to alarm you, but there is a possiabilty that the boogyman or boogymen my be in the house
-Homer
I am evil Homer. I am evil Homer. I am evil Homer. I am evil Homer.
-Homer
Kids,you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The leson here is, never try.
-homer
Urge to kill... rising.
-Homer
NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY!!!!
-homer
Satin:Oh, hey Bart
Bart:hey
-Satin and Bart
Homer:DAAAAAAAAVID LETTERMEN!
Grandpa:Hi David im Grandpa!
Homer:DOH!
-Homer and Grandpa
Homer: DAAAAAAAAAAVID LETTERMEN!
-Homer and Grandpa
Bart:Mom is dad gonna kill us?
Marge: we'll just have to wait and see.
-Marge and Bart
Homer:No TV and no beer make Homer go something...something
Marge: Go...crazy..?
Homer:DONT MIND IF I DO!!!!!!!!!
-Homer and Marge
Bernie: Duh Homer why are we down here? Homer: Oh I already told you Bernie to guard the bee. Co worker: But why? Homer oh you guys are pathedic no wonder Smithers made me head bee guy. (Jar breaks). Bernie: Duh its getting away. Co worker: We did bad.
-Homer, Bernie and co worker
Uh, hello, uh, Mrs. Bart. Is your pool ready yet?
-Jimbo
WOO HOO! I'M A COLLEGE MAN! I WON'T BE NEEDING MY DIPLOMA ANYMORE!
-HOMER
Hey, horseface! Get your ugly pie hooks off that Summer Fun set!!!!!!!!!!!
-lISA
He's going to kill Rod and Todd, too! That's horrible...in principle.
-Bart
Losers! Losers! Kiss my big Springfield behind, Shelbyville!
-Homer
Ralph to wolf:Will you be my mommy?
The wolf leaves carrying Ralph in its mouth.
Ralph: You smell like dead bunnies!
-Ralph
Dear God, thank you for Ziggy comics, little baby ducks, and 'Sweatin' To the Oldies' volumes 1, 2 and 4.
-Ned Flanders
Milhouse: (after he sniffed the comic book) It smells like my Grandpa.
-Milhouse
Las vegas girl " i need to take a shower where are the wet ones?"
Flanders " oh we have real bathrooms here"
-Hooker and flanders
(Singing) I am so smart, I am so smart! S M R T! I mean, S M A R T!
-Homer
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