South Park Quotes

South Park Quotes

Whatever! I'll do what I want!

Stan: Oh My God, they killed Kenny. Kyle: You Bastards!
-Stan and Kyle

Oh, yeah? Well at least my mom isn't on the cover of 'Crack whore magazine'!
-Stan to Cartman

I'm not an R-tard
-Randy Marsh


I'm not fat, i'm big-boned.

Cartman, you're such a fat ass, that when people walk down the street they go, 'God dammt that's a big fat ass'.


Kick the Baby.

You kiss just like my dad.
-Mr. Garrison

Cartman, you're such a fat ass, that when you walk down the street they go, 'God dammt that's a big fat ass'

-Mrs. Garrison

Now I for one think that evoultion is a bunch of BULLCRAP!
-Mrs. Garrison

Hello there children.

I'm not fat, I'm festivally Plump.



Screw you guys, i'm goin' home.

Hooody hooo!

AAAHHH, to much pressure!

Chef: Hello there, children.
Stan: Chef, what would a priest want to put up my butt?
Chef: Goodbye.
-Chef & Stan

I've learned something today...
-Stan or Kyle at the end of just about every ep

Wow, what a great audience.

Stop screwing around. Ya'll screw around too much.
-Mr. Adler

Whateva, whateva, I do what I want!
-Eric Cartman

[Cops taking him away after a fight] For what? You're arresting me for what? I'm not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was a free country? Oh i'm sorry I thought this America. Sorry, I thought this was America.
-Randy Marsh

Screw you guys im going home

You wanna get high

I love you guys
-Good Cartman

[after being pulled over for drunk driving]
What seems to be the officer, problem?
-Randy Marsh

Okay people. There's nothing here to see. Everybody move along.
-Officer Barbrady

That does it! I am sick and tired of people making jokes about stuff that's going in or coming out of my ass.
-Eric Cartman

Towelie: don't forget to bring a towel you might get swet in your eyes. Kyle:thanks Towelie: wanna get high Kyle: No!!
-Towelie and Kyle

Stan: Oh my god! They killed Kenny" Kyle:(unenthussiastically) You bastard!
-Stan and Kyle

I've got half a mind to report you to the Police, Sir

but you guys cant get married...YOURE FAGS!
-Mr. Garrison

respect my authoritah!

Aww hamburgers...


kenny's family is so poor they had to put up their cardboard box for a second mortgage!

don't kick the baby

shut up fatass!


sucky sucky five dollar!

You Unbelievable Son of a Bitch...

I wanna make love!

-Mr. Hankey

why'd you do that children?

I'm super! thanks for asking!
-big gay al

Butter it's time to go!
Alirght Mom!
-Butter's Mom/ Butter

It's coming right for us Ned!
-Uncle Jimbo

Now let's all get together and we have to stop our moms cuz were gonna save Terrance and Phillip too cuz thats what Brian Boitano do and were gonna save Terrance and Phillip too cuz thats what Brian Boitano dooooo. Cuz that's what Brian Boitano do.
-Kyle, Cartman and Stan

Alabama man.
-Some random commerical advertizer on the show

Don't boss me around you f*cking jew i'll kick your ass.

Damien: Everybody hates me. Mr. Mackey: What do you suppose that is. Damien: Because i'm the son of the devil.
-Damien and Mr. Mackey

I want a goddamn cheeseburger with some goddamn fries you f*cking gooback.

O.K, by then.
-Officer Barbrady

They took our jobs

Big floppy donkey dick

Cookie monster!

Oh dear, I shoudn't have ate the chile! *farts fire*

Oh, my carrot cake!
-Big Gay Al

Cartman: Mom, Kenny called kitty and dildo!!
Carman's Mom: I know a special kitty that's sleeping with mommy tonite...
-Cartman and his mom

Cart man,you fat ass!

-Crazy Bus driver

I am super-duper serial.
-Al Gore

cartmansmom:eric isint fat hes just big boned kyle:then he must have a huge bon in his ass!
-cartman's mom and kyle

Can I just have some Spaghetti-Os?

Save the whales mother f**ker.
-A.L.F. Member

Suck my a**hole you stupid taco bender!!!


No Cartman, I don't want to marry you. You're too young for me!

Kyle: I thought your mom was your dad 'cause we saw she had a penis Cartman: WHAT!!! you son of a bitch!
-Kyle and Cartman

*studio crowd kills kenny*
man 1: oh my god...i found a penny!
man 2: you bastard!
-man to another man

chef...your salty balls have brought me back to life!
-mr. hankey

I cant whistle if I eat too many crackers

Stan theres just better things you could be doing on a Saturday than singing and dancing. You could be watching tv or laying in bed.
-Randy Marsh

Women dont want to read about romance they want to read about big powerful shlongs!
-Mr. Garrison

Evolution is a hair brained theory that says i'm a monkey, i'm not a monkey! i'm a woman!
-Ms. Garrison

How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison!

What the f*ck are stem cells?

(sings) I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy poofs, if we didn't love cheesy poofs we'd be lame.

Ike made a neno

Cartman! Duhrrrrrrr!

dont forget to bring a towel!
-Evil towlee

Mom kitty's being a dildo!" Cartman's mom:"well i know a certain kitty kitty that sleeping with mommy tonight

kyle: what about you messege from god? cartman: oh, i am no afraid of him, he is a pussy! hey god, you know i was just kidding!
-Cartman and Kyle

If you don't like american ways, why don't you just get out...

You're breaking my balls.

(Regarding women) I'm sorry, Wendy. I just don't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
-Mr. Garrison

I'm Professor Chaos, and you can be General Dissary.

My Precious..They took my precious..

i'll tell you what's wrong! i've been waiting 500 years to play the Nintendo Wii! and if i don't get to play real soon i'm gonna bust a nut!

No, I wasn't in Vietnam. But sometimes I like to pretend I was.
-Mr. Garrison

Tonight; on Cop Drama; on TV; They're gonna say: Sh*t

howdy ho!
- mr hanky

You better not lose that ticket kenny or else imma kick you in the nuts! (the nuts the nuts the nuts

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