That 70's Show Quotes

That 70's Show Quotes

Kitty this is America, we bomb countries that drink tea.
-Red

Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
-Red

No, I'm not loving anyone I'm not legally required to.
-Red

I don't think Kelso's gonna last that long
-Eric

It's amazing what one act of civil disobedience can do for a person.
-Eric

BURRRRRRN!!!
-Kelso

[smoking a cigar in the circle] I hate cigars. This is way worse then what we usually do in the circle. It smells bad, it tastes rank, but there's no fun hallucinations. *This* should be illegal.
-Hyde

So, if you're not going to fire Randy and you're not going to fire Leo, I got a question. Can I see your wife's boobs?
-Kelso

I'd love to be the hootermans dog
-Fez

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Kelso nailed your sister!
-Eric

Mom's making me special sandwiches, Donna's giving me sexy naps... with God as my witness, I will never go hungry or horny again!
-Eric

This suit is for leisure. But many times I wear it to get down to business.
-Fez

Steven, I've come to think of you as a son. So I want to give you some honest, heart-felt advice. Get your head out of your ass.
-Red

There's a rabbit, stuck up a tree, and I want to return that rabbit to the wild so it can lay it's eggs.
-Kelso

SCREW THAT I'M INVINSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Kelso

I choose Boobs!
-Fez

[imitating Red] I say we torture them with plenty of pointless rules and advice.
-Eric

Yeah, I'm good looking.
-Kelso

I'm gonna kick your ass
-Red

I'll clean it up later dudes
-Red

Mitch Millers
-Move your lips, mushmouth!

I've lost the ability to process language, on account I have a CONCUSSION!!
-Mitch

I know what your problem is...I'm too pretty.
-Kelso

G.I. Ja'que... it does existed
-eric

Eric do something your father is taking my women!!!
-Fez

The bag was ON FIRE!
-Kelso

Fez: Oh, the ladies want a piece of Fez.
-Fez

Dumbass
-Red

Why would you be friends with a 17 year old? Their idiots.
-Red

Fez: Hey Laurie, are you naked or are you just happy to see me!!! Donna: OH MY GOD FEZ!?! Fez:(ok, just come up with something sexy) Hey Donna, nice hooters Donna: FEZ GET THE HELL OUT!!!
-Donna and Fez

Eric: Donna, I was just out by the lake and I thought it was you naked but when you turned around, you were Laurie, then I heard screaming, and it was me! Donna: Oh yeah!?!, well I've got bigger problems, Fez thought it would be nice to see me like that
-Donna and Eric

Eric: Hey Donna, ready to get down? Laurie: LITTLE BROTHER!!! Eric: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
-Eric and Laurie

Wow!, for a minute there, I almost forgot about my sisters wet naked ass, oh god!
-Eric

For the last time dad, there are no seats around you!
-Donna

That 70s Show Television Show


I have the three thing that girls want; I'm hot and I'm smart
-Kelso

Good day sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!!!
-Fez

Fex: I am so excited about "Star Whores". Hyde: Fezzie, man. It's "Star WARS". Fez: Screw that!
-Fez & Hyde

Oh, always blame the foreign guy with the spoon!
-Fez

You know, you're always calling me dumbass and you know I wished I had? (mocking Red) I'm Red Foreman and I wished I had eight legs to put my foot up 8 asses!
-Eric

Donna: Hey, you seen enough you little perve Little Boy: She touched me and it was awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Donna and Little Boy

Why are you here? Why are you always here?
-Red

Look my balls have holes in them
-Fez

If wouldn't have found this bacon I would be really mad!
-Fez

Oh look a robot!
-Fez

Little girl: Santa I want a pony for christmas!!
Red: Horses die what you need is a good pair of boobs.
-little girl and Red

Yeah, uh Donna, I'm stuck in a thorn bush
-Eric

Hey Donna, Booo! Booo!
-Fez

Dad, can't you say something normal for once!?!
-Donna

"Eric: I'm only here because you had a heart attack
Red: I only had a heart attack because you're here"
-Eric and Red

Hyde: Kelso you've known the girl for two days now. Isn't it time for you to get her pregnant?
-Hyde

Red: I couldn't understand a word you said but i heard commie bastards which is good enough for me.
-Red and Fez

I said Good Day!
-Fez

The truth is out there, man, it's out there.
-Kelso

*Eric and Red are doing roleplays. Eric as Red and vice-versa* Eric: I wish i was an octopus. Then i can put 6 more boots in people's asses."
-Eric

Ho Ho Ho.......Dumbass
-Red

Why would you say that god hates you?, at least you have a women's love, whore!
-Fez

Kelso you've known the girl for two days now. Isn't it time for you to get her pregnant?"
-Hyde

[referring to the gang smoking pot on Thanksgiving] Why do you guys do this to yourselves? Well, it's Thanksgiving, some people bake pies, we bake ourselves.
-Kelso

[writing to Prresident Carter about why he should be able to stay in America] If I have to leave this country, where am I going to go? France? Fuck France.
-Fez

Fez:Hey every one look at Kelso he's stuuupid!
Kelso:Hey every one look at Fez he's foreign!
-Fez & Kelso

Eric:(Talking about Kelso)Wow watch him try to pice it together,he's got no he doesn't, wait...no.
Hyde:Wow this is like the slowest burn ever.
-Eric & Hyde

Oh Jackie. Silly silly Jackie.
-Fez

What a good looking crop of S.L.O.P.S
-Fez

Normal doesn't put asses in the seat donna!
-Bob

Red, you know what your problem is? I'm too good-looking.
-Kelso

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