You Don't Mess With the Zohan Movie Quotes

I like hair. It's pleasant. It's peaceful. No one gets hurt.
-Zohan

I just want to make people silky-smooth!
-Zohan

I like this, being inside the outside.
-Zohan

I bang your mother one more time, then we go disco.
-Zohan

No, not that. The bush, is biggest you ever seen, right?
-Zohan

Unbelievable! This enema gets to live his dream...!
-Zohan

It's nice to have a little talk before the Bang-Boom.
-Zohan

You've caught so many terrorists, it's an art. You're like Rembrandt with a grenade.
-Father Zohan

Usually he's harder than trigonometry.
-Gail

Oh, that's Neosporin! I use it on cuts and on genital sores.
-Gail

Imma blow up this whole block, Imma blow you up, Imma blow up these puppies! And we all gone' go to hell together, cause I hate these puppies!
-James

You want us to get some mud people out'ch-your buildin' so you can build some kind-a roller coaster mall. Sir I just wanna thank you for this opportunity. I mean it's a gift to mess with the Jews and terrorists on the same night. I mean it's like, uh, it's like uh, uh, it's like Christmas in July. Right now we are scheduled to sabotage a black people's parade in Chicago, uh but we could move that.
-James

You don't mess with the Zohan!
-Danny

Michael: What are you? Bionic?
Zohan: No, I only like the ladies.
-Michael, Zohan

Palestinian immigrant: People hate us. They think we're terrorists.
Israeli immigrant: People hate us, too. They think we're you.
-Immigrants

Exec 1: What's 'humus'?
Exec 2: It's a very tasty diarrhoea-like substance.
-Exec 1, 2

Zohan: Don't worry! I will lose them!
Limousine Passenger: Nobody's following us!
-Zohan, Passenger

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