Zombieland Movie Quotes

Zombieland Movie Quotes

Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?
-Tallahassee

You're thinking about fucking Wichita. Well, I don't blame you, because for the past twenty-four hours, she's been fucking the both of us.
-Tallahassee

Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where the fuck are the God damn Twinkies?
-Tallahassee

Here's the deal Columbus, I'm not easy to get along with and I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch so, uh, I give this relationship to about Texarkana.
-Tallahassee

My moma always told me, someday I'd be good at something. Who'd have guessed that something would be zombie killing?
-Tallahassee

I haven't cried like that since Titanic!
-Tallahassee

Thank God for rednecks. This is a really big truck and these are really big guns.
-Tallahassee

No! She's only famous when she's Hannah Montana! She's only famous when she's wearing the wig!
-Little Rock

When Tallahassee gets going, he sets the standard for "not to be fucked with".
-Columbus

I may seem like an unlikely survivor with all of my phobias and irritable bowel syndrome but I have the advantage of not having any friends or close family. I survive because I play it safe and follow the rules, my rules.
-Columbus

The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.
-Columbus

You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.
-Columbus

As he savored that yellow spongie log of cream, we had hope.
-Columbus

Zombieland Movie Quotes

You're like a giant... cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab.
-Columbus

In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... coulda... shoulda.
-Columbus

Tallahassee: Wow, these fellas really let themselves go.
Columbus: And they're so fat.
-Tallahassee, Columbus

Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?
Tallahassee: I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.
Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?
-Little Rock, Tallahassee

Tallahassee: I'm not great at farewells, so uh... that'll do, pig.
Columbus: That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard. And you stole it from a movie.
-Tallahassee, Columbus

Little Rock: Do you have any regrets?
Bill Murray: Garfield maybe.
-Little Rock, Bill

Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a little girl?
Columbus: She was like a crouching tiger...
Tallahassee: She's twelve!
Columbus: Well, girls mature way faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age.
-Tallahassee, Columbus

Follow Funny Quotes Today on Facebook and Twitter for the Quote of the day.