Zombieland Movie Quotes
Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?
You're thinking about fucking Wichita. Well, I don't blame you, because for the past twenty-four hours, she's been fucking the both of us.
Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where the fuck are the God damn Twinkies?
Here's the deal Columbus, I'm not easy to get along with and I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch so, uh, I give this relationship to about Texarkana.
My moma always told me, someday I'd be good at something. Who'd have guessed that something would be zombie killing?
I haven't cried like that since Titanic!
Thank God for rednecks. This is a really big truck and these are really big guns.
No! She's only famous when she's Hannah Montana! She's only famous when she's wearing the wig!
When Tallahassee gets going, he sets the standard for "not to be fucked with".
I may seem like an unlikely survivor with all of my phobias and irritable bowel syndrome but I have the advantage of not having any friends or close family. I survive because I play it safe and follow the rules, my rules.
The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.
You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.
As he savored that yellow spongie log of cream, we had hope.
You're like a giant... cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab.
In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... coulda... shoulda.
Tallahassee: Wow, these fellas really let themselves go.
Columbus: And they're so fat.
Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?
Tallahassee: I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.
Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?
-Little Rock, Tallahassee
Tallahassee: I'm not great at farewells, so uh... that'll do, pig.
Columbus: That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard. And you stole it from a movie.
Little Rock: Do you have any regrets?
Bill Murray: Garfield maybe.
-Little Rock, Bill
Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a little girl?
Columbus: She was like a crouching tiger...
Tallahassee: She's twelve!
Columbus: Well, girls mature way faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age.
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