Zoolander Movie Quotes
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.
Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.
Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
Seriously, do you like service yourself ten times a day?
It's a walk-off!
I friggin' worship you, man.
Taste my pain, bitch!
So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?
Trippin' on acid changed our whole perspective on shit!
Now, this'll be a straight walk-off, old school rules. First model walks; second model duplicates, then elaborates. Okay, boys - let's go to work!
You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother.
[to Derek] He had to pull his underwear out of his butt to beat you!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.
Maury Ballstein: The designer's got your nuts in a vice! He's offering you three percent for every pair of underwear sold! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!
Kids: Screw Him! Hold out for more!
You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb up there.
By the way, you were wrong about my outfit. It's the Cheryl Ladd collection and I got it at JC Penney's. On sale!
.for the past four years, male modeling has had a shadow cast over it by one man and five syllables: Der-ek Zoo-land-er.
I felt like, "This guy's really hurting me." And it hurt.
I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.
Anchorman Tropic Thunder
Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.
What's the dealio, yo?
Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!
You is talking loco and I like it!
They're break-dance fighting.
Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!
Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.
Damnit Derek, I'm a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.
Matilda: When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
Derek Zoolander: Ew!
Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.
Matilda: I became...
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?
Pretty soon, they'll be reading *our* eugoogaly!
I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.
Put a cork in it, Zane!
There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".
VH1 Reporter: Derek, are you worried about Hansel?
Derek Zoolander: Uhh, not as much as I'm worried about Gretel.
Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?
Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.
How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?
You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't.
I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys... we're a different breed.
I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit... stay the hell away from Derek Zoolander!
I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.
Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?
Follow Funny Quotes Today on Facebook and Twitter for the Quote of the day.