Zoolander Movie Quotes

Zoolander Movie Quotes

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
-Derek Zoolander

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.
-Derek Zoolander

Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.
-Derek Zoolander

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
-Derek Zoolander

Seriously, do you like service yourself ten times a day?
-Derek Zoolander

Oh, Snap!
-Derek Zoolander

It's a walk-off!
-Billy Zane

I friggin' worship you, man.
-Hansel

Taste my pain, bitch!
-Hansel

So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?
-Derek Zoolander

Trippin' on acid changed our whole perspective on shit!
-Hansel

Now, this'll be a straight walk-off, old school rules. First model walks; second model duplicates, then elaborates. Okay, boys - let's go to work!
-David Bowie

You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother.
-Larry Zoolander

[to Derek] He had to pull his underwear out of his butt to beat you!
-Matilda

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.
-Derek Zoolander


Maury Ballstein: The designer's got your nuts in a vice! He's offering you three percent for every pair of underwear sold! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!
Kids: Screw Him! Hold out for more! 


You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb up there.
-Maury Ballstein

By the way, you were wrong about my outfit. It's the Cheryl Ladd collection and I got it at JC Penney's. On sale!
-Matilda

.for the past four years, male modeling has had a shadow cast over it by one man and five syllables: Der-ek Zoo-land-er.
-Announcer

I felt like, "This guy's really hurting me." And it hurt.
-Hansel

I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.
-Maury Ballstein

Zoolander Movie
Anchorman             Tropic Thunder

Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.
-Maury Ballstein

What's the dealio, yo?
-Hansel

Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!
-Mugatu

You is talking loco and I like it!
-Hansel

They're break-dance fighting.
-Mugato

Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!
-Mugato

Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.
-Mugato

Damnit Derek, I'm a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.
-Larry Zoolander

Matilda: When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
Derek Zoolander: Ew!


Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking. 


Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?

Pretty soon, they'll be reading *our* eugoogaly! 
-Derek Zoolander

I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself. 
-Derek Zoolander

Put a cork in it, Zane!
-Derek Zoolander

There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman". 
-Derek Zoolander


VH1 Reporter: Derek, are you worried about Hansel?
Derek Zoolander: Uhh, not as much as I'm worried about Gretel. 


Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way? 
 -Derek Zoolander


Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.


How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?
-Derek Zoolander

You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't. 
 -Derek Zoolander

I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys... we're a different breed.
-J.P. Prewitt

I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit... stay the hell away from Derek Zoolander!
-Katinka

I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.
-Katinka

Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?
-Mugatu

Follow Funny Quotes Today on Facebook and Twitter for the Quote of the day.