Funny Quotes About Husbands

Funny Quotes About Husbands

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
-Groucho Marx

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
-Roseanne Barr

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.

It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the dishes.

Funny Quotes About Husbands
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Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
-Ogden Nash

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
-Marie Corelli

Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.
-Zig Ziglar

I am happy to know that my husband regards me as a woman and a person.
-Katherine Dunham

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
-Jim Carrey

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