The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.
-Unknown
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
-Groucho Marx
My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
-Roseanne Barr
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.
-Unknown
It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the dishes.
-Unknown
Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.
-Cher
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
-Ogden Nash
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
-Marie Corelli
Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.
-Zig Ziglar
I am happy to know that my husband regards me as a woman and a person.
-Katherine Dunham
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
-Jim Carrey
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