Funny Drinking Quotes
I've been around the block a couple times, then my neighbor realized I was drunk and took me home.
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
Any man who eats dessert is not drinking enough.
I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution - to all of life's problems.
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
It is better to think of church in the ale-house than to think of the ale-house in church.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
He was a wise man who invented beer.
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober.
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Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
I drink to forget I drink.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate...and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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